The title is from Janelle Monáe's song Q.U.E.E.N. featuring Erykah Badu; which starts as some funky, soul-filled, R&B guilty pleasure and ends with Monáe dropping a verse that puts 99.9% of rappers to shame.
Quadruple Olympic gold medallist Allyson Felix showing that good glutes are what you need for athletics and aesthetics.
Bootys, butts, bums, glutes; call them what you will, as Miss. Monáe states, they don't lie. Having a strong and well developed posterior is desirable for both sexes for various reasons. The glutes main roles are as the prime movers in hip extension, hip abduction and in external rotation of the leg, they are mainly fast twitch with huge force production capability and high resistance to fatigue. In layman's terms this means your bum is involved if you want to turn your knee outwards, push your leg out to the side or behind you. Once you realise the function of the glute it becomes clear why they are so important for peak athletic performance; sprinting, jumping, lunging, direction changes/side-stepping, skating, it's all driven primarily the the glutes. Glutes are also important in a more passive way, giving stability to the hips, pelvis and lumbar, maintaining proper posture through leg and pelvic alignment to keep your 'lower cross' in balance and ward off the back pain and decreased performance that accompanies anterior pelvic tilt. In fact, there are multiple studies directly linking weak and/or inhibited glute function with lower back pain.
Enough science shit. Time for gratuitous booty pictures.
Boring phsiology over with, the main reason we want good glutes is because of how they look. Whether a man is a boob guy or bum guy, they appreciate a good set of glutes, but also likewise, women don't want a pancake-assed man, sporting strong glutes is just as important for any male as it is females. If you are a girl reading this thinking that you don't pay much attention to the junk in a guy's trunk, you probably should. Remember a few sentences ago when I was talking about glutes being the muscle responsible for hip extension? Well, big, powerful glutes mean big, powerful hip extension... maybe something to think about.
I would say this is for the ladies but with the amount of men with huge guy crushes on Klokov, I'm not so sure.
Unfortunately, due to most of us spending many hours of the day sitting on our bums and not doing shit, we have terrible muscle tone (in the strict usage of the term, that is, passive contraction). Our glutes are lazy, they are overly relaxed from not doing anything all day and as such, when we want to call them into action they don't contract and produce force to their full potential. Further to our glutes being sleepy through under-use, they suffer also from 'reciprocal inhibition' from our hip flexors. The angle of our hips when we sit means our hip flexors (located in the front 'hip crease') are chronically flexed and short; when a muscle contracts, the opposing muscle relaxes, thus our tight, contracted hip flexors cause our glutes to turn off. What also happens with many people is that here the piriformis muscles will 'pick up the slack' for the glutes, working overtime and as such also becoming chronically tight. Therefore, the first step for most should be the activation of the glutes, stretching of the hip flexors and potentially soft tissue work to roll out any knots and maintain good tissue quality in our prized assets.
Whoever is in charge of Reef's marketing is a true visionary.
Glute activation routine
Soft tissue work (optional) - this is easy but generally not fun. Get a firm foam roller or a lacrosse/hockey/tennis ball, put it under your bum and slowly roll over the whole glute area. There will be 'hot spots', especially around the piriformis area which usually manifests itself as some hella pain when you roll over the dimple on the outside of your cheek. Work on these until pain subsides and you feel the muscles loosen and any knots or tightness release. The enjoyability of this increases greatly if performed in a private setting with a partner.
Pictures of foam rolling are not as enjoyable as this.
Hip flexor stretches - Perform a deep lunge with your rear knee on the floor, push your hips forward until you feel a pull in the front of the hip of the rear leg, being careful not to let your lower back over-arch. Hold for 20-30 seconds a couple of times each side, this is a useful stretch to do multiple times a day if possible. 4 point extension - On all fours (hold the jokes please), extend one leg straight behind you until it is parallel to the ground or just above and squeeze the glute hard for a 3 count, repeat on the other side.
Not perfect form here, but she can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned.
Half-keeling contraction - get down like you are going to pop the question, then contract the glute on the kneeling side hard, thrusting your hip forward a few inches. Focus on the contraction, not the thrusting movement as you don't want the force to come from your lower back. It is helpful to put a hand in the glute to make sure you can feel the contraction and change in shape of the muscle. Glute bridge - This builds the foundation of many of the great glute building exercises, so it is important that you get a good feel for it. Lie flat on your back with your legs at somewhere around a 60-90 degree angle and your feet flat on the floor. From here push through your heels and contract your glutes hard to push your hips up so your body forms a straight line from shoulders (which are in contact with the floor) to knees. Make sure it is a hip hinge and not some messed up spine rolling motion that is getting you from the start to the end, also make sure to again not over-arch the lower back.
I'm going to be stealing loads of technique pictures/videos because I can't be bothered to make them myself. Deal with it.
Hip hinge - This again is a foundation move and is probably the most important single movement to master in all of weight training. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and knees unlocked, cross your arms on your chest or place your hands on the back of your head (you can add a weight if you are a stronger trainee). From here, bend at the hips, pushing your bum backwards whilst keeping your lower back flat. You should feel a stretch in your hamstrings and glutes, when you feel this, powerfully flex your glutes to reverse the movement, squeezing hard at the end like you are trying to crack a walnut between your cheeks. Clamshell - Lie like you were setting up for a glute bridge and got flipped on to your side. From here, keep your feet together and rotate your upper leg outwards so your knee points towards the ceiling whilst keeping the rest of your body still, stronger trainees can wrap a resistance band around their knees. It's probably best to avoid eye contact with anyone whilst doing this one.
Alternatively, maintain eye contact throughout to really woo a potential mate
A run through of 8-12 reps of each of these moves (in whatever order you like) fits well as a warm up for most, some less experienced trainees might find these feel like a workout in and of themselves, that is okay, a few rounds of these exercises plus a few of the less advanced exercises from below will make a great beginner training session.
This isn't anything to do with what I'm describing, I just like it.
Glute building moves SQUAT!!!! - No shit right? If all the borderline pornographic pages on Facebook haven't clued you in, squats build good bums. Squats are indispensable for their total leg building properties, they may not be the prime exercise for a focused glute workout, but still should absolutely be a staple in your routine. I've written all about squats previously in a 2 part article which you can find here and here. A small tweak which is useful when looking for specific glute work is to focus on pushing the glutes back in the descent and then contracting hard and bringing your hips forcefully forward over your feet, squeezing hard at lockout.
Dat lockout.
Deadlift variations - All deadlift variants will hit the posterior chain, including the glutes, hard; however some variants will cause people with weak glutes to over-compensate with the hamstrings and lower back muscles, whereas other variants are far more conducive to feeling the glutes working. The standard conventional deadlift from the floor is a lift that I feel falls into the first category for a large percentage of people, at least until the lockout portion of the lift. Therefore, whilst the full conventional deadlift should again be a staple in your routine, for glute building purposes there are variants which can benefit us more.
Multiple powerlifting world record holder Dan 'The Boss' Green showing that big glutes mean big lifts
The first of these is deadlift lockouts/rack pulls. Set the safety pins in the power rack to around or just above knee level and place a loaded bar on the pins. Set your feet to your normal width for deadlifting, bend at the hips and knees whilst keeping a flat back, grip the bar and forcefully lock out the weight by contracting your glutes hard and pushing your hips forward (just like in the 'hip hinge' warm up) while also pushing through your heels to lock out your knees, again take care not to over arch your lower back. Lower the weight (don't try to lower it too slowly as this can be sketchy) to a dead stop on the pins, reset and pull again. You will likely find that you can use large amounts of weight here and feel a pretty strong glute contraction.
Second we have Romanian deadlifts or Dimel deadlifts, these two are very similar in execution, with a Dimel deadlift essentially being Romanian deadlifts performed for high reps with a fast tempo. Either way, set up as you would for a normal deadlift with a fairly light weight, then lift the weight to the lockout position. From here keep a straight back and a soft bend in the knees, push the hips backwards until you feel a stretch (it might not be a very large range of motion), then forcefully reverse the motion by contracting the glutes. It is essentially the hip hinge from the warm up with a weight in your hands. The differences between this movement and the rack pull are here there is a lesser degree of knee bend, you lower the weight under control and do not pause between reps.
Glute bridges and hip thrusts - I really love squats and deadlifts, but I must admit, whilst bridges and thrusts make you look like the guy who forgot how to gym, they really are the king when it comes to focussing on booty building. There are many variations of these to cater to all levels. The basic movement as outlined in the warm up doesn't change. To make this even easier (which most shouldn't really need) you can start with your feet elevated on a bench, to make it harder lay your upper back on a bench. For most people these bi-lateral, unloaded bridges will still be too easy to use as anything other than a warm up. The obvious solution to this is to load up, go unilateral or a combination of both!
For weighted glute bridges, load a barbell with at least one full diameter plate, lay on the floor, roll it over your legs to your hips and set up as you would for the glute bridge. Get the barbell fitting snug in your hip crease, secure it with your hands and bridge, contracting your glutes hard and lifting the barbell with your hips, squeeze hard and briefly pause at lockout to really feel that booty working hard like you never have before.
In short: you hump the bar
Weighted hip thrusts are identical in the mechanics of the movement, however here your upper back rests on a bench (pick one that is nice and padded). This gives you an increased range of motion and a stronger contraction at lockout, generally making it a better choice of movement if you have the available equipment. It is recommended that you pad the bar for these otherwise they can be uncomfortable, especially at higher weights. I recently did 140 kg for reps with an un-padded bar, which was a bloody stupid idea. Be smart and use protection, kids.
Just bar hump your way to a better booty
As I said before, the other way to up the ante on bridges/thrusts is to go unilateral. The easiest of these would be the single leg glute bridge, it's not rocket surgery, set up like you would for a normal glute bridge, push to the top of the movement then straighten the knee of one leg so it's off the floor, lower yourself then push through the grounded foot and flex the glute hard to bring your hips up. Repeat with the other leg. Next up in terms of difficulty we have the single leg hip thrust, which by now I have faith that you can figure out yourselves. Then if we really want to push things, we can add weight to either of these variations. The great thing about the unilateral variations is that they tend to not need a lot of added weight so are much more comfortable when using a barbell compared to bilateral variations; personally I have been using sandbags for these which works nicely, but you can use whatever works for you; barbell, dumbell, EZ bar, sandbag, just grab something, throw it over you hips and hump upwards to build that bum.
The above exercises allow you to move the most weight and I feel should make up the majority of your glute training, making them pretty much a lock for your routine. There are a few other honourable mentions, that are very worthy of a place as further accessory movements if you have the equipment and energy to do more.
It's been a little while since the last gratuitous glute shot.
Walking Lunges/Bulgarian split squats - I group these together as they are mechanically fairly similar. Both can be performed with bodyweight (for beginners), holding dumbells (which is easier for balance as long as you can hold the dumbells) or with a barbell (which is necessary with larger weights). To perform walking lunges, pick up your dumbells or position the barbell across your traps and take a large step forward with one leg. Sink down until the rear knee just touches the ground (at this point ideally your front shin should be roughly vertical, learn to gauge your step so this is the case) and then drive upwards, contracting the glutes. Step forward with the rear leg moving into the lunge position with the opposite leg forward and repeat.
I couldn't find a lunge photo with sufficient nudity.
If you lack the space for walking lunges, Bulgarian split squats are an ideal alternative, I slightly prefer lunges as there is less of a balance demand, meaning you can focus more on contraction, both exercises will whip your butt into shape though. To perform the BSS set up a bench at around knee height at the back of the platform which you are using, grab your dumbells/barbell, stand with your back to the bench, then lift one leg behind you and place the top of your foot flat on the bench. Ideally for maximal glute recruitment you want to be as far from the bench as you can be without having an excessive stretch on your hip flexor in the bottom of the movement or experiencing any over arching of the lower back. Sink straight down until your rear knee lightly touches the floor (you might want to put a foam mat under your knee) then drive straight back up, contracting your glutes to lockout. Descend for subsequent reps without moving your feet. Switch legs and repeat.
Bulgarian split squat as demonstrated by some bald jacked guy with a terrible tattoo
Back extension/Glute ham raise (GHR) - These two again share similar ground in terms of mechanics, with a GHR essentially being a back extension plus a hamstring curl. Both of these exercises also need specialised bits of kit, which if your gym is lacking you are pretty much out of luck, some people try to 'hack' the movements and perform them without the specialised equipment (like performing a back extension off a bench), but these tend to not feel right and don't do the movement proper justice. That said, if your gym has a back extension rig/roman chair, you're in luck. You perform the back extension by hooking you feet under the pads/bar at the bottom and leaning forward on the support pad, the top of which should be a couple of inches below your hip crease (look at the picture below if that didn't seem to make sense). You start with your body fully straight facing the floor, from here hip hinge until you feel a stretch in the hammies and glutes then (like I keep saying) forcefully contract your glutes and push your hips forward to pull yourself back straight to lockout, once again taking care not to over arch the lower back . This exercise is also known as the hip extension which I far prefer, as the motion should be coming entirely from the hip, not the spine (although your spinal erector muscles will still be working to keep your back straight). This is essentially a super strict hip hinge at an angle which causes you to work harder against gravity. If you are strong, you can load these up by holding a dumbell/plate behind your head or across your chest, alternatively you can position a barbell in front of you and hold it with a snatch (very wide) grip, which is a great posterior chain exercise for more advanced trainees.
Gazing majestically into the distance is an important part of this exercise
Unfortunately GHR machines are far more scarce at gyms that they should be, as the movement is an absolute winner for fully building the posterior chain. If your gym does happen to have a GHR machine, you are living the dream, use it regularly and use it lots, also thank your gym owner for knowing his/her shit. A GHR rig looks a bit like a back extension rig (above), with a few differences in its design and therefore use; the pad is in a 'half moon' shape and sits lower on the quads with the knees just behind the pad, this allows you to perform a hip extension (squeeze the glutes) and then a subsequent hamstring curl as the point of contact between your legs and the pad 'rolls' over the rounded pad. The foot pads are also raised to the same level as the hip/quad pad, so you should be roughly parallel to the floor at lockout of the hip extension and roughly vertical at the end of the hamstring curl. That description might be a little lacking so here's a picture of a good looking lady doing the movement.
Good work, good looking lady.
I'm feeling extra generous here, so I will also write some basic outlines of sample workouts for a glute focussed 'leg day'. These are just ideas, so feel free to use them or completely ignore them and just pick bits you like from the article to fit into your own routine, I won't be offended.
Beginner glute workout Glute activation routine - 3 rounds (only roll/stretch once) Squats - 3 sets x 8 reps with ~70% of 1 rep max (or a weight which is challenging but lets you complete all reps with good form) Rack pulls - 3x5 ~75-80% 1RM Hip thrust/glute bridge variant - 3x8-12 (choose a variant which allows you to get a challenging 8 to 12 reps with good form, I'd recommend unloaded uni-lateral hip thrusts for most trainees with a focus on good form and feeling the contraction of the glute)
If cardio is desired, using the stepper and performing big steps can further blast the booty.
It might seem hard, but for this, it's totally worth it.
Advanced glute workout Glute activation routine - 1 round Squats - 5 work sets (work up to 5 RM with good form, decrease weight by 10% and perform another set, aiming for 6 reps with good form, decrease weight by another 10% and perform 3 more sets, aiming for 8 reps with good form) RDL/Dimel deadlift - 3x8-12
alternatively Back extension - 3x8-12
alternatively GHR - 3x6-12 ( the wider rep range is due to the difficulty of GHR; if you cannot perform 6 reps un-weighted, get stronger using other exercises first) Weighted hip thrust/glute bridge variant - 3x8-12 Walking lunges - 3 rounds of 8-12 lunges each side (space permitting)
alternatively BSS - 3x8-12 each side
Stepper can again be used if for some reason you want to do cardio.
So there you have it, DC's guide to great glutes. Hopefully moving into 2014 we'll see none of this...
As usual, we have a post title lifted from some of my favourite hip hop; this time it is so called after a track from El-P and Killer Mike as Run The Jewels' self-titled, free, highly critically acclaimed début album.
So 'tis the season of rampant consumerism and terrible songs on loop in celebration of the birthday of a guy that was essentially the David Blaine of 2000 years ago, but his tricks were apparently so good, people are still going on about them. There are however, some good aspects of this holiday season; time off work to relax, see friends, enjoy time with your family and most importantly stuff delicious food into your fat face until you are uncomfortably full, then repeat hours later. While most people don't have 5 kg of extra fat on their Christmas list, that seems to be pretty much what they get every year. What this article will hopefully share with you are some strategies that you can use (along with some willpower) to make sure this year you can have a lean Christmas (in the good sense), as it's not 'bulking' if you are just getting fucking fat.
Jacked Santa said all you're getting for Christmas is the gift of "Stop being a little bitch"
For most people the 24th - 31st of December become an absolute physical shit show, where the most activity they get is repeatedly lifting copious of food and alcohol from the table to their mouth. While short overfeeds can actually be very useful in the war on fat (as explained in a previous article). Week long food binges are not. When you overeat a whole host of processes are triggered in your body; insulin levels rise which decreases the mobilisation/oxidation of fat and increases the storage of nutrients as fat/glycogen/muscle. Parasympathetic nervous system activity is increased, which means you feel relaxed and sleepy and probably can't be bothered to move. Thyroid hormones (T3 and T4) are released in increased quantities, this will serve to temporarily up regulate metabolism as your body attempts to burn through the piles of food you have just eaten. Thermogenesis will increase due the the thermic effect (TEF) of all the food you have just eaten; ever had meat sweats after eating half the turkey? That's TEF. As we can see, not all of these things are bad, thus is why short bursts of overeating work. It is when overeating becomes chronic (say, for a week) that the negative aspects such as high insulin and down-regulated fat mobilisation will become real issues. Furthermore, adding alcohol to the gamble can really start to mess with things as this will down-regulate both carbohydrate and fat oxidation, meaning pretty much everything you eat will go straight to storage.
Turns out Santa has a pretty sweet deal
This leads us to my first tip: endeavour not to eat big and drink big on the same day.
Preferably, keep the alcohol consumption low in general, but I know for many this just won't happen. Instead, when you are sitting down for your big Christmas meal, keep in mind that if you want to get stupid drunk with only your family as company, you are fucking weird. Also keep in mind that if you are drinking, all those delicious calories are going to end up on your belly/ass/hips/chins/bingo wings/eyelids ...you get the idea. Most will then probably be going out for drinks with friends on some other day in the festive period (Boxing Day Pub Crawl, anyone?), if this is the case, I am not going to tell you to moderate consumption (other than don't kill yourself), moderate your food intake instead. Luckily, I have already written at length about this here. In general, eat loads of veggies and lean meat, keep fat intake very low throughout the day and only eat a moderate amount of carbs at least 3 hours before you plan on drinking. Then when you are getting boozy, preferably drink low-calorie drinks, don't eat during/after drinking, just hydrate well when the night is done and go to sleep.
Andreas Cahling has no time for binges like you weak people.
On to the second tip: Do some exercise around your food binge.
This tip is split into two, the first option is preferable but is potentially not feasible on Christmas day. The second option is your back-up plan and the only thing stopping your from implementing that is pure laziness. Option 1 is to perform a glycogen depleting workout prior to your food binge, the best way to deplete your glycogen stores will be an intense, hi-rep weight lifting (15-20 reps) workout, hitting as many major muscle as possible in your workout. This glycogen depletion will mean that your muscle's "fuel tanks" are running low, as such, a large portion of the approaching food-gasm will end up re-fuelling your muscles, rather than sitting on your waistline. Now, I realise that this is impractical for most people as not everyone will have the time or facilities to perform such a workout on Christmas morning. Enter Option 2; around half an hour before and an hour after you inhale the same amount of calories that the entirety of Ethiopia has consumed this year, perform 60-90 second contractions for a few major muscle groups. I'd recommend something like a set of squats, a set of push ups (or a scaled back version) and a set of inverted rows. This will only take a few minutes but will serve to active so-called GLUT4 receptors in your muscle by moving them to the surface. GLUT4 receptors are responsible for directing glucose after ingestion, by performing these brief exercises you are able to preferentially direct the food you eat towards your muscles and lesser so towards your belly, albeit with less efficacy than if you took option 1.
Sure he's old and fat, but he has the right idea
Tip number three: Try to minimise the insulin response from your meal.
There are a few ways to do this, the first, best and arguable easiest is to primarily eat meat and veg with lesser quantities of starches and sugars; meat is the best part anyway, you can disagree if you are content with being wrong. By not going too overboard on the starchy and sweet stuff, your insulin won't go too mad, which will go a great ways to limiting the amount of fat you store (if any). Another strategy is to have a planned first meal which is high in protein and fibre, but not fat or simple carbs; this lets you take advantage of the "second meal effect". This refers to the fact that following a high fibre meal, a subsequent meal will have a lower glucose and insulin response as well as less effect on triglyceride levels, all of which are beneficial if you wish to remain jacked and pale (because, really, who is tanned at this time of year?). A third strategy which is easy to implement is to drink green tea throughout the meal, this has a two-fold effect; first the green tea flavanols serve to improve your response to secreted insulin. Second, the caffeine serves to speed up the transit of food through your digestive tract, whilst this isn't optimal when we want to extract all the nutrition from our food, but when we are hugely overeating, a degree of incomplete digestion serves as a convenient damage control strategy. A final strategy is to consume citrus (grapefruit, lemon or lime) as part of your meals, as these foods serve to decrease the insulin response of a meal, probably the easiest way to do this is to squeeze half a lemon in every cup of green tea that you should already be drinking.
Anyone who thinks that potatoes come close to being the best part of this meal should be sectioned
Tip number four: consider implementing intermittent fasting on the days around your binges.
I have previously discussed intermittent fasting at length. When implemented the day after a food binge, IF just feels pretty natural as you will probably be a disgusting bloated mess, so a morning of not eating, just drinking water and giving your digestive system a rest is probably exactly what you feel like doing. You can also implement a longer than normal fast as a means of calorie restriction to help offset the huge calorie surplus on binge days. As an added bonus a fast will also serve improve insulin sensitivity, which will play into tip 3.
So there you have it, a few dietary tips to reduce the impact of the holiday spread. So Merry Christmas, Happy New year and don't get too fat.
