Homie, get your weight up - How to pack good weight on a skinny frame

Yeah, I'm back to hip-hop references; this one is from Villuminati on the new J. Cole album, which is worth a listen.

So we're going to talk about how to get big for all the little guys out there. As with all my articles, my suggestions are not the only way to do things, there are various methods which will bring about success; these are simply my opinions formed from research and personal experience. Disagree if you like, but I'm writing this shit for free, so do so quietly. This article will be split into 2 parts, diet and training, both of which need to be addressed if a trainee hopes to gain any meaningful amounts of quality mass.

I got more jacked. I doubt I can ever get tanned.

Diet

You have to eat big to get big, when I first started out I had a pretty weak appetite, but the main thing when you are a skinny guy looking to gain weight is just getting the calories in. "I already eat loads, I just don't gain weight" the skinnies moan. Well, you don't. If you have been trying unsuccessfully to gain weight for a while and haven't budged the scale a gram, you aren't eating enough. Read that again if it didn't sink in the first time. You are not an exception to the rules, your body is not some black hole into which calories disappear. If you are a guy with very little mass (muscle or fat), I would recommend eating (your weight in kg x 40) calories a day. Seem like a lot? Well that is your minimum. If you are training that day you will need to eat more, but BW x 40 is a good place to start.

"I've eaten, like, 6 meals today; but I just never gain weight"

To be perfectly honest, where these calories come from is secondary, whilst I don't recommend 'crap loading' i.e. eating tons of junk food to hit your calorie totals, I think you should look to eat the most calorie dense foods you can. This is so the total volume of what you are eating is not massive, but you are getting in the calories you need for growth. Milk is the cliche one recommended to skinny guys, but it's for good reason, it's full of protein and carbs and is pretty cheap and tasty, so get the milk down you (unless your lactose intolerant, which could lead to things getting messy). Yogurt can also be a very easy food to eat large amounts of and provides a good balanced amount of protein and carbs as well as probiotics; these will aid digestion, which will be a helpful thing when dramatically upping your calorie intake. Rice is the boy for carbs, it digests easily for almost everyone, so you won't get the bloat. Rice is also easy to eat; it's much easier to eat 500 calories of rice than 500 calories of potatoes. Oats are also a good quality carb source which are fairly easy to eat large amounts of, add in some dried fruit as another dense carb source for maximum gains. Beans are an overlooked carb source and one which also packs a decent amount of protein. However, they might not sit well with everyone's digestion, if you handle them well, they are a good addition to a bulking diet; if not, eat them anyway, because flatulence is hilarious.

Serge Nubret ate rice and beans on the daily. Who are you to argue with these mass-thetics?

When it comes to protein, don't shy away from less lean protein sources like chicken thighs/legs/wings and beef mince; there is nothing wrong with animal fats, they add calories in a delicious way and are necessary for the synthesis of hormones (most importantly testosterone) in your body. Beefs gets you huge, chicken gets you jacked. It's science. Ditto for eggs; protein, fats and tastiness, all in a little package; eggs get you yoked (sorry). Another benefit of fattier cuts of meat and eggs is that they tend to be significantly cheaper than leans meats like chicken breast, making a bulking diet easier on the wallet than might be expected.

It doesn't matter which part you choose. Dead cow = gains.

As mentioned, fats are integral for proper hormone synthesis and when bulking they are an easy way to get calories in. Oily fish is top stuff, it might be an acquired taste for some, but I really urge everyone to try it. Omega 3 fats have a slew of positive benefits in the body which I have covered previously in my supplement article. Nuts and nut butters are another great way to some good quality calories down, providing a modest dose of protein and a hefty dose of fats to support production of the big T; also they are delicious, if someone doesn't like peanut butter I genuinely question their sanity. I'm not a huge fan of adding oils to meals to boost their fat/calorie content, like many suggest. I think whole foods which are high in fats and calories such as the aforementioned fatty meats, fish, eggs, nuts as well as things like avocados, coconut milk, full fat dairy and dark chocolate are better choices both in terms of micronutrients provided and enjoyability, which is an important factor to consider for those that have struggled to gain weight through lack of appetite.

It's a mutual love.

The last sentence of the last paragraph eludes to possibly the most important point in gaining weight for the skinny guy. Find calorific foods you enjoy eating and can eat large amounts of. Then eat them. Lots. Then eat some more. Figuring out a way to eat sufficient calories that doesn't feel like a complete chore is probably the most important aspect of a sustainable weight gaining plan; unfortunately, only you can do that as we all have different tastes. As I stated above, I believe the majority of your calories should be coming from whole foods, this ensures you get adequate micronutrients (vitamins and minerals) and is a smart idea for general health. This doesn't mean fun foods are off the table however. For example, a meal consisting of a huge bowl of beef chilli with a big serving of rice and some carrots and broccoli (for fibre and vitamins), followed by a bowl of ice cream, is perfectly acceptable for a skinny guy looking to bulk up. Follow an 80/20 rule, with (minimum) 80% of your calories coming from whole foods and (maximum) 20% from treats and junk, and you can't go too far wrong.

Snickers pie. If you're bulking, go for it. If you're a fatty, look away now, lest you start licking the screen.

Supplements always come up when talking to guys looking to gain weight; I'm sorry to tell you guys, there is no magic brand of protein which will get you huge and ripped. For my supplement recommendations, go here. The short of it is that buying a good whey powder such as one from BulkPowders (use the code DC40501 for £5 off orders over £15) for consumption post-workout is smart; some creatine will also be beneficial and is cheap, but is far from a necessity. As explained in my first supplement article, I'm not a fan of weight gainers. In general, they are massively overpriced combinations of some protein and metric fuck-tonne of sugars (maltodextrin and dextrose are just sugars fyi), sometimes with a little bit of fats thrown in for good measure. Want a weight gain shake? Ask and ye shall receive:

DC's GetFuckingJackedShake2.0

500ml whole milk
3 eggs
30g whey (optional)
50g oats
2 bananas
Cocoa/honey/maple syrup/peanut butter/frozen berries etc to taste (optional)

That is going to pack around 900 calories/40g protein without whey, over 1000 calories/65g protein with whey. Any optional extras will only serve to boost the calories and possibly protein, depending on choice. It also has the benefit of being cheap and actually containing some micronutrients, unlike the majority of powdered weight gainers off the shelf. Drink one of them a day for a few months in addition to a few large meals a day and see if you're still a waif of a man.

Contrary to popular belief, buying a weight gainer does not automatically make you a beefcake.

As far as meal timing and frequency goes, when you are a man in need of some meat on his bones, timing is when you want and frequency is as often as you can. Most skinny guys with low appetites will have problems putting away a huge meal all at once, so eating often is probably a good plan. I know I espoused all the benefits of intermittent fasting in my last article, however for the trainee that struggles with lack of appetite, it will likely be too much of an effort to eat the required calories in the eating window. As a tip, when bulking, it really pays to be prepared. Stock up and stock up well. Have a fridge (and freezer) full of beef and chicken, have a few kilos of rice and some big bags of nuts in the cupboard, always have at least 2 litres of milk in the fridge, you get the idea. Also cook in large batches in advance, especially your protein sources as these can take a little while. These strategies will make missing a meal a thing of the past, if you always have something cooked, you will have no excuse for not getting your daily calories in.

Training

Getting big requires some testicular fortitude. Prepare to move heavy shit.

Obviously, you can't gain any appreciable amount of muscle without some heavy weight training to go with your newly increased caloric intake. For guys that are predisposed to looking like they have just been freed from Auschwitz, heavy volume routines are not a good idea. These guys need to lift as big as they can every time they are in the gym, but allow sufficient time in between sessions for recovery or they will not grow. Full body routines are also the way to go for naturally skinny guys, having a day devoted to your biceps isn't going to do shit if you will buckle over with 60kg on your shoulders. We will look to build strength and mass concurrently, but understand that when you are beginning as a natural trainee, muscle mass follows strength. On to the basic outline of the programme then:

• You'll lift 3 times a week, I've listed them as Day 1, 3 and 5. This can be shifted to whatever days fit your schedule, however the days should be spaced as prescribed.
• 2 x 6 means 2 sets of 6 reps each; 1 x 6+ means a set of at least 6, but you should aim for as many reps as you can with good form; AMRAP means as many reps as possible.
• Warm up well by lifting progressively heavier weights before your work sets (only work sets are listed here). e.g. if you can squat 60kg for 6 reps, you would warm up with some body weight squats, then say 20 for 8, 40 for 4, 50 for 2; or something like that. You should feel ready with no muscle stiffness, but you shouldn't fatigue your muscles.
• Rest 2-3 minutes between work sets.
• You will need to initially work out what weights are challenging for the prescribed reps on each exercise. Once you have done so, you will aim to add the smallest weight plate your gym has (usually a 1.25kg) to each side of the bar every workout. Alternatively, you can start with an empty bar and use larger jumps in weight for a short period of time.
• The 6+ sets should not be taken to absolute failure; you should stop when you do not believe you can perform the next rep with safe form. That said give these sets everything you have got, don’t quit a set thinking you could have done more. Get psyched for your set, listen to music that pumps you, get angry if you have to; the worst thing you can do is not try your hardest.
• If you can lift the new weight for 3 sets of 6, move up next session. If in your final set (i.e. 6+), you get 9 or more good reps, you can move up by a larger increment, if you so wish.
• If you fail to get 3 sets of 6 reps, do not move the weight up.
• If you fail to get 3 sets of 6 reps consecutively on the same weight, take 10-20% off the bar and start the process over (this may seem like you're moving back, but you aren't because the 6+ set will allow you to push yourself and set new records, a sure sign that you are making progress).
• Keep a notebook and write the details of your workouts, you should have a record what weights you lifted and for how many reps/sets for any given workout. Keep records to break records.
• Have a spotter or use a correctly set safety rack for all sets.
• Look up good exercise form (this and this are handy resources).

...but not for you, bony boy. Learn good form and gym etiquette.

DC's skinny guy Programme


Day 1

Squat 2x6, 1x6+
Bench Press 2x6, 1x6+
Barbell bent-over rows 2x6, 1x6+


Day 3

Deadlift 2x6, 1x6+
Dips 2x10 (add weight if necessary; use an assisted dip machine or substitute close grip bench presses if you can’t do10 BW dips)
Standing Barbell Curls 2x10
Hanging leg raise (strict) 2xAMRAP


Day 5

Squat 2x6, 1x6+
Overhead Press 2x6, 1x6+
Pull-ups (any grip) 2x6, 1x6+ (add weight if necessary; use lat-pull downs if you can’t do at least 6 BW pull-ups)

Note: Fuck cardio. You are skinny, cardio is counter productive. If you are an athlete in a sport with high aerobic demands, adjust your calorie intake up accordingly

They might run a good tri, but these physiques aren't making any women weak at the knees.

This is a basic outline that covers all bases; you are squatting, deadlifting, pushing and pulling. These are the things that build muscle, skinny beginners have little use for endless sets of isolation exercises focused on little muscles, that can come when you are more advanced (I'm talking multiple years), if you wish. You may notice some slightly more isolation work on Day 3, there are a couple of reasons for this. Firstly, deadlifting is hard work; as a newbie, it may take it out of you, so the arm work gives you something you'll be able to get yourself enthused to do after the brutality of heavy deads. Secondly, one of the main things bemoaned about very basic training routines is the lack of enthusiasm after a while due to not having 'fun' exercises. While this is stupid, it is a complaint made by many, so Day 3 is your day where you can get a bit of pump and work the beach muscles, which should satisfy most. Thirdly, while these exercises may be veering into 'isolation' territory, they are all very valuable exercises which, whilst maybe not as beneficial as squats, deads and big presses and pulls, will go a ways towards building strength as well as muscle.

As a final note, I actually lied when I said there are 2 areas that need to be addressed; there are 3, but the 3rd one, rest and recovery, is easy. Sleep 8 hours a night, eat as suggested above and train no more than prescribed and your rest and recovery should be ample.

Unless you have better things to be doing in bed.

There you have it, my advice to skinny dudes looking to get jacked. You may find the specifics of what I have described are exactly what you have been looking for and go on to make great gains. You may also not get on very well with what I have written and make good progress using an altered plan. This is fine; ends is ends but the means are just the means. Some central principles remain however: Eat big. Train hard. Rest lots. If you follow those, you can't go too far wrong. 

Live. Fast. Don't die young. - Intermittent fasting and what it can do for you

It would be rude of me to start this article without acknowledging the people who brought intermittent fasting (IF) to my attention and the attention of the fitness community. The bat-shit crazy Swede Martin Berkhan and the nice guy of nutrition Brad Pilon are the main guys responsible for that, so credit where it's due. This article is really long, I've also attempted to make it slightly more respectable than my standard writing style, so I'll put some nice pictures in to keep you all interested.

The premise behind IF is incredibly easy; you simply don't eat for a prescribed time period in your day/week. Clearly I'm not going to leave it there, that would make a pretty crap article. So I am going to be detailing two popular methods of incorporating IF, both of which have theory behind them and practical results to show. First a little anecdote from one of my fitness buddies which essentially captures IF in a nutshell:

Tales from the Austin streets: While walking to work this morning, I start to pass the bus stop at Congress and Cesar Chavez. A man in his 40s or so grins at me, holds out a huge plate of muffins, and says, "Breakfast, $1!" I laugh and say no thanks and keep walking past him, and he says, "Fruit! I have fruit too!" I shake my head and say, "I don't eat breakfast!" and keep walking. He looks me up and down, slowly, and then [looks] right at my ass and says, "It's working. Whatever you are doing, it's working!"

I have no idea if she practices IF, but it's also working

And that's all that matters really, isn't it? We want to know two things: how hard is it to do? and how well does it work? The great thing about IF is that both of those questions have the answers you want to hear.

So on to the practicalities of IF. Firstly 16/8 (or Leangains) style; 16/8 refers to an 8 hour eating period and 16 hour fast period per day. Obviously you are fasting throughout your sleep (unless you have some impressive sleep walking habits) so the 16 hour fast is not as hard as it might initially sound. The important factors are that you eat all your calories inside the 8 hour window, which should be at more or less constant times, and that you eat as many calories per day as you would otherwise. It is only the timing of your nutrition you are manipulating here, not the nutrition itself. During the fast you can and should drink lots of water and can also drink black coffee and teas if you so wish. An example of a day on this sort of plan may be a morning black coffee, breaking your fast with lunch at 1 pm, having a small snack pre-workout at around 5 pm, then having a large post workout meal at 8.30 pm.

Not quite this large, but still pretty large.

If 16/8 style (my personal choice) doesn't take your fancy, perhaps 6/1 (or EatStopEat style) will. Here 6/1 refers to days; this set up is even simpler than 16/8, you just pick one (rest) day a week and don’t eat. You will probably want to eat a bit more on the other 6 days of the week (roughly 1/6th of your daily intake), but that is as complex as this type of IF gets. A minor word of caution, when you are not used to fasting it can be fairly easy to overeat when breaking the fast, try not to do this, partly because you don’t want to take in too many calories and also because you don’t want to overburden your digestive system.

This is the type of IF that has received a large amount of mainstream attention, with the 5/2 diet hogging the limelight. There is nothing wrong with this style for the sedentary masses; however for someone putting a substantial amount of effort into training, 2 days fasting a week may be a bit much. Furthermore, the commonly publicised versions of the 5/2 diet allow you to eat a low number of calories on your ‘fasting’ days; firstly, this isn't fasting and secondly, it reduces many of the benefits of fasting and will likely cause you to be much more hungry than you would be on a full fast. So a full fast for a single day a week is usually the preferred choice for active individuals.

Charles Bronson is reported to fast every Sunday. I'm unsure if this is beneficial to my argument.

Unless you find not eating an incredibly taxing concept, then the answer to the first question I posed earlier should be pretty clear. IF is incredibly easy to implement and is far more practical than the previously much touted 'many evenly spaced small meals' approach. If you choose to implement 16/8 style you will likely be skipping breakfast (I recommend placing you eating window at the end of the day rather than the start), which saves time in the morning rush. Then most people will eat 2 or 3 large satisfying meals, which will save prep time and hassle over consuming multiple little meals daily. If you choose to implement 6/1 style then it simply means you have a good chunk of extra time on your one fasting day which would otherwise be taken up by preparing food and eating.

Before we get into all the good aspects of fasting, I should probably play mythbuster and squash some of the fallacies which many have been led to believe by archaic advice in mainstream media, gym bros and supplement pushing muscle mags.

"Eat 12 meals a day to look like me, I recommend 6 of these meals are 4 scoops of SuperMuscle's OverpricedProteinOatsAndShit7200"

A popular fact that is regularly brought up in discussions is that those who eat breakfast tend to have lower BMIs than breakfast skippers, this is entirely true and has been shown in multiple studies. However, there is a saying in science 'correlation does not imply causation'; just because two things show a statistical link, it does not necessarily mean that one causes the other. The majority of these breakfast studies are simply done by measuring people's BMIs and asking them to fill out a questionnaire on eating habits. The average breakfast skipper is far more likely to be someone with disorganised eating habits (which are conducive to weight gain) and have a higher disregard for their health (which is exactly what this study showed); they are not someone consciously deciding to skip breakfast as a method of manipulating their nutrition. Now there is nothing wrong with breakfast, it is simply not a magic weight control solution like many claim.

Something this delicious is not going to be the answer the obesity epidemic.

More astute minds might point to the fact that insulin sensitivity is high in the morning, thus it is a beneficial time to eat from a muscle building standpoint. This again is true, however, insulin sensitivity is not high due to the time of day, it is high due to the fact that you have just been fasting through your sleep. Prolonging this fast will only cause a greater increase in insulin sensitivity for the first meal.

Perhaps you are worried that you will feel hungry throughout the fast. Thankfully, evolution has your back, there is a hormone called ghrelin which regulates your appetite by rising when food is 'expected' and falling after eating. The good news is that ghrelin can effectively be 're-trained' to be secreted at different times, thus after a few days of implementing short fasts, you won't feel hungry during the fast, as your ghrelin levels will not be rising in expectation of calorie intake (I'm writing this at 1.10 pm, everyone around me is eating, I haven't had a bite all day and am not hungry at all).

"Guys, I'm hungry, I haven't eaten since last night." Said no real man ever.

"Starvation mode!" the masses cry. Yep, it's true our body does indeed have a starvation mode, our basal metabolic rate will indeed drop as an evolutionary survival mechanism if we are starving. However, starving means starving; none of this "I'm starving, I haven't eaten in 5 hours" balls, I'm talking 'haven't eaten in 60 hours' to start to see any metabolic downturn from 'starvation mode'. As the longest I am suggesting you fast for is around 32 hours and my preferred method of IF prescribes 16 hour fasts, you are safe from any sort of starvation.

Think more sexy Bale, less skinny Bale

What about eating frequently to 'stoke the metabolic fire'? Gotta eat every 3 hours right, bro? In short, this is bollocks. You see, your body is a little bit more sophisticated then a wood stove, so the 'logs on a fire' analogy is borderline retarded. The standard wisdom peddled is that 6 meals a day will cause you to build more muscle, lose more fat and get generally jacked and tanned. However science did its thing and found "no evidence of improved weight loss" with more frequent meals and actually found that people were more sated with 3 meals versus 6 (with total calories equal). The myth originates from the fact that eating raises your metabolism, this is known as the thermic effect of food or TEF. Someone once upon a time simply took this fact and ran with it, hypothesising that if eating raises metabolism, then eating more frequently raises it more. The fact however, is that TEF is dose dependent; three 400 calorie meals and one 1200 calorie meal (with identical macronutrients) will cause the same number of calories to be burned through TEF. Ever got the meat sweats at an all-you-can eat? That heat is due to a hefty dose of TEF from all the calories you are taking in.

Joey, TEF. TEF, Joey.

So big meals are good from a satiety perspective and all the same in terms of raising your metabolism; what about protein synthesis? Some of you many have heard that you can only absorb 30 grams (or some similar value) of protein per per meal. This is again a case of someone taking a fact and making wild hypotheses that have since been taken as fact by the masses. It was found in a study that protein synthesis was maxed out with a 30 gram dose, and that higher does did not achieve any greater synthesis. People ran with this and claimed that anything over 30 grams of protein in a single sitting was useless. Not true. What the aforementioned study found was simply the minimum dose for maximum protein synthesis, if you eat more protein, the protein takes longer to digest and the maximum rate of synthesis continues for a longer time, your body still uses all the the protein. Food takes a pretty long time to digest and be assimilated, this study shows that a standard meal of 75 g starchy carbohydrates, 37 g protein and 17 g fat is still being digested and absorbed after 5 hours (and that is pizza, a crappy, refined food which is absorbed relatively quickly). There is even some evidence that eating the majority of a day's protein intake in one meal improving protein retention (granted this is in elderly women). Otherwise in young, healthy women, there was no difference in protein retention whether it was eaten spread over the day or in one big meal.

Eat all the protein.

Eating big meals at night (especially dreaded carbs) makes you fat, doesn't it? As I'm crushing everything you think you know, you might be able to predict the answer to this one. Observational studies have found that late night eaters are fatter than those who tend to eat earlier, however, this is again a case of lifestyle choices and dysfunctional eating habits. Those that eat a large amount of calories later in the day tend to be sedentary people snacking, they also tend to take in more calories overall and have less sleep, which leads to being fat. The habits of the average, lazy couch potatoes are of no consequence to you fine, heavy-lifting, health conscious readers. On to studies that matter then; when participants were given identical meals, but fed at different times of day, eating the majority of your calories later in the day was shown to be better for preserving lean mass and losing fat, time and time again. As an added benefit, eating a large amount of calories, especially those from carbohydrates, late in the day, will active your parasympathetic nervous system, allowing you relax and sleep with greater ease.

Big protein and carb meals in the pm = big gains

In the above myth debunking I have mentioned or alluded to multiple reasons why IF is beneficial, but lets do a full run down. Fasting improves your body's peripheral insulin sensitivity (that is, the insulin sensitivity of fat and muscle cells) and reduces serum glucose levels, both of these serve to improve body composition. Fasting reduces oxidative stress and has been shown to be neuro- and cardio-protective. In practice this means that IF can essentially make your body more resistant to the declines that come with age, pretty cool stuff. Fasting increases catecholamine production, you've heard me mention these things before, they are better known as adrenaline and noradrenaline. If their production is upregulated, fat burning is upregulated and you feel more alert. Feeling more alert is going to be a positive thing in the early part of the day when you want to get things done, your cognition will not suffer as a result of fasting (even fairly long term) either, so you will be more focused and just as able to think clearly as when fed.

The above benefits are all pretty nice; you feel alert, your body is protecting itself from oxidation and increasing insulin sensitivity, priming you for better muscle gain. However, the reason most people look to IF is fat loss, fortunately, this also stacks up pretty well. Fat oxidation was shown to be increased during day long fasts, growth hormone has been shown to increase (which contributes to fat burning) and fasted training has been shown to give greater fat loss in healthy male subjects. In a study where healthy adults were fed all their calories in only one meal a day, there were modest decreases in fat mass and increases in lean mass with absolutely no reduction of calories. In a recent study on rats (which are actually pretty transferable to humans generally) some rats were fed all day, where others were fed all their calories during an 8 hour window (sound familiar?), both groups were fed a high fat diet. The group that were fed all day got fat, developed diabetes and liver diseases; the time restricted feeding group developed none of these things. Now this is limited by the fact that it is a rat study, but still, there are some pretty cool findings.

It's not his fault, it's his feeding schedule

So hopefully you can see, IF is a pretty promising diet strategy. A recent review sums it up nicely:

Animal models have shown positive changes in glucose (lower plasma glucose and insulin levels) and in lipid metabolism (reduced visceral fat tissue and increased plasma adiponectin level), and an increased resistance to stress. Despite the limited number of samples studied, positive results have been reported on the impact of IF for human health. IF is reported to improve the lipid profile; to decrease inflammatory responses, reflected by changes in serum adipokine levels; and to change the expression of genes related to inflammatory response and other factors. Studies on obese individuals have shown that patient compliance was greater for IF than other traditional nutritional approaches (calorie restriction), and IF was found to be associated with low oxidative stress. Recent reports suggest that IF exerts a positive impact on the metabolic derangements commonly associated with cardiovascular diseases, and that it may be a viable and accessible intervention for most individuals.

Clearly I like IF, and personally I prefer the 16/8 version. This is mainly due to the daily cycle nature of it, I prefer eating the same way every day and this also has more beneficial effects on ghrelin levels which will regulate your appetite, causing you to be less hungry during the fasting period. 16/8 style also has the benefit of a daily increase in insulin sensitivity, causing a greater anabolic response when you break the fast. 6/1 style still brings great benefits, it will still cause an increase in insulin sensitivity, an increased rate of fat oxidation on your fasting day and bring about all the beneficial neuro and cardio-protective effects, possibly to a greater degree than 16/8 fasting due to the longer fast. However, some may experience greater hunger when implementing 6/1 style due the the lack of adaptation of ghrelin (as it is 'reprogrammed' on a daily, not weekly, cycle). Overall, both styles are beneficial, but not a complete diet panacea, this is not some grand secret to eating whatever you like and looking great, but it is a useful tool for improving body composition which appears to bring some beneficial health benefits as a welcome addition.

Update: Fasted training - I didn't put this in originally as the article was running on, but I was asked the question, so here are my views for anyone interested.

Light cardio when fasted is fine, however if you want to perform heavy weight training or HIIT in the fasting period I would recommend (a la Berkhan) semi-fasted training; consuming ~10g BCAA (preferred) or ~20g whey. This is simply to get some aminos in your bloodstream as a safeguard from any catabolism due to de novo gluconeogenesis from the high intensity of training, whilst keeping the majority of the beneficial effects of fasted training (greater fat oxidation, increased anabolism from post-workout feeding due to increased insulin sensitivity).

Pride, achievements, haters, doubters and detractors

I couldn't even pick a rap lyric for the title of this one. If you want an example of a rap lyric denouncing haters, listen to any rap album ever. I warn you before you start, this one has no real substance to it, it's just a rant more than anything. You could call it a bit of 'training psychology' or 'self-empowerment' if you wanted to be kind; 'a metaphoric two fingers in the air to denigrators and an invite for others to do the same' would be more accurate.

You want to know why I work out? Partly because I love it, partly because getting stronger is pretty awesome, but also to look damn good, even if it is only from the beard down. I'm not a pretty man, I've long accepted this. I can't lose any weight off my nose or build my hairline an inch forward, instead I build my chest and shoulders, I lose fat until I have visible abs. I don't think doing this makes me narcissistic or saying it so directly makes me vainglorious, I'm just trying to be the best me I can be.

If you work out to look good or even if you don't work out to look good but it comes as happy a side effect; in my mind, there is nothing wrong with being proud of what you have achieved and the progress of your physique. There seems to be a feeling amongst some people that a sense of pride in this sort of progress makes you cocky or conceited, I've got no time for this sort of thinking. If you transform your physique, it is solely you who is to credit. Yes, you may be helped by others (who knows, maybe even me), but the willpower and resolve, the effort and toil; that is all you. I don't know about you, but I think if you have earned something fairly, you can do what the hell you want with it, including putting it out there for others to see.

Tom Platz being jacked as hell and rocking a stride of pride past some weedy proles.

I wouldn't expect a self-made millionaire to be driving around in a beat up Ford Fiesta, not enjoying the fruits of their labour; nope, that dude (or lady) is rolling up in a slick Benz/Beamer/Bentley and letting people know he (or she) has made it. To extrapolate this idea to our realm of fitness and physique, if you're a dude who has been benching and doing pull ups religiously for a year, wear that size-too-small t-shirt. You've earned the pec definition, that V-taper, those arm cannons; why the hell would you throw a baggy T-shirt on and look like any other guy who hasn't put in the hours and effort? Ditto for the girls, if you've invested in squats and deadlifts, that little black dress is going to look damn good, so wear it with confidence, knowing that the reason it looks good is because you worked for it to look good.

Maybe not the most practical choice of outfit to go to the supermarket. Not that I'm complaining.

Like I have said before, and probably will say many times again, there is nothing wrong with training and eating well with the aim of looking good. Even if it isn't your primary goal, training for aesthetics and having some pride in your appearance has its place, especially as the general attributes associated with good aesthetics, ample muscle mass and low body fat, will improve performance in pretty much all sports and improve general health. You can see this in most sports these days, the players may not need to look great, but they do anyway. Let's have a look at a few sports and some examples of people at the top of the game that have great physiques as well: Powerlifting? look at Dan Green. Olympic lifting? Klokov. Strongman? Pudzianowski. MMA? St. Pierre. American football?  Terrell Owens. Rugby? Manu Tuilagi. Football? Christiano Ronaldo. Tennis? Nadal ...the list goes on. Have a look at any of those guys and tell me that they aren't concerned with form as well as function. The truth is if you want to be a top athlete, it doesn't hurt to look like one. Doug Young summed it up pretty well and he was a fucking tank so that automatically makes him right:
"I definitely would not want to be very, very strong and not look very, very strong. I want to look just as strong as I am. Looking pretty is, I think, very important to the majority of the people, and to the people that say it's not important, I would consider that they are not telling the whole truth." - Doug Young

Maybe not everyone's idea of pretty, but god-damn-jacked.

Being pretty stacked is even an advantage in lame non-contact 'sports' like tennis.

Now there are always going to be those that insist on talking behind your back; the detractors, haters and backbiters. People might say you've changed, you're like a different person. The thing is, you have changed, and if you've made big changes to yourself, your lifestyle and your habits, then yeah, to a degree, you have become a different person. You've progressed and become a better version of yourself. Those people will be there wherever you are in your fitness/body transformation journey, whether they are doubting you before you begin or finding something to pick on now you have improved yourself. The cliche is that this comes down to jealousy; that may be the case sometimes. I think it's generally more because people don't like change. They don't like you changing and getting better. You're making them look bad, you selfish fuck. Stay average like them, never change, never progress, never stand out. That way, no one will ever hate.

If you don't know this MMA legend, do yourself a favour and watch this.

For those that have just made the decision to get in shape, other people can be the biggest road block to success. There will be doubters, even if it is just offhand comments, these sort of things can psychologically impact you. Do your best to ignore these people, or even better, tell them to eat a big bag of dicks; you have made the decision to positively change yourself, fuck anyone who says you can't. The other group of people you need to watch out for are the sneaky saboteurs, some of these people might not realise what they are doing, like your nice old nan who give you a cup of tea with a huge plateful of biscuits when you visit. In this case you need to explain to these people that you have made the decision to get into better shape and even though they are trying to be nice, their efforts are draining your willpower, with a lot of people it only takes so much temptation before you yield. Others in this category are less innocent, think of the best friend who insists you should just be happy however you look, so just eat some Ben & Jerry's and have a duvet day. Are these people really just talking about you when they say things like this? Or are they projecting their own weaknesses on to you and keeping you down with them? Sometimes you need to objectively take a look at relationships like this and in many cases you need to unambiguously tell these people that they are dragging you down, that you want to get better and that the way they are acting is simply stifling progress.

No better than a crack dealer selling to addicts.

In the end I'm not really sure what I'm getting at with this, no one really needed this article, it's just a some words I felt like sharing with the internet. There's a couple of loosely connected things I'm getting at here: The first is to never feel ashamed of training with the aim of looking better, some small minded people might say it's vain, I say it's making the best of yourself and if you're changing yourself in positive ways, you should be proud of those changes. The second is to block out the doubters and detractors, to avoid the efforts of those who try to derail your progress and to stick to the path of the challenge that you have set for yourself. Hopefully that last sentence in some way made up for a whole page of me justifying why I like to wear tight t-shirts.

Fried off that sh*t that rock stars die from - Part 2: The effects of alcohol and drugs on fat and muscle

Back again with a pretty belated part 2. Part 1 talked alcohol, part 2 is getting a little more shady as we discuss substances that (for the most part) are illegal. As mentioned in the first part, this isn't intended to be a full run down of the effects of these substances on every system in your body (that would require a hefty, hefty tome) this is just a jocose little look at drugs through the lens of a fitness and vanity, with a few other little interesting tidbits thrown in. It is worth a note that the literature on illegal drugs is pretty scant and what is out there seemingly doesn't like to agree, I've tried to piece together some semi-coherent information, but I should say that most of what you read should be taken with a pinch of salt. So bump that Danny Brown again and read on.

Tobacco/Nicotine

Cigarettes were good for you back in those days. So was casual racism.

The old cancer sticks. Any idiot knows puffing on loosies isn't going to do any part of you very much good but I'll provide a quick run down for anyone whose health awareness is stuck in the 40s. The main terrible shit smoking does to you is to significantly raise the risk of cardiovascular diseases, cancer (particularly throat, mouth and lung) and chronic obstructive pulmonary diseases. Lesser terrible shit pertaining to vanity includes making your skin paler and more prone to wrinkles (due to vitamin A depletion and reduced blood supply), making your teeth and gums yellow and your breath smell awful. Pertaining to fitness, the aforementioned pulmonary diseases will completely screw with your breathing, but even a light smoker is going to have a less air due a lowering of the surface area of the lungs and a decreased level of aerobic fitness due to carbon monoxide hogging your red blood cells and preventing oxygen from doing its thing. The worst is for the dudes (this is going to a be a repeating theme, drugs are made for girls it seems); smoking raises your risk of erectile dysfunction by 50%. Let that sink in. That means that the only fun form of cardio isn't even an option. Fuck that....oh wait.

Strangely, it's not all bad news (but the bad news is pretty fucking bad), because nicotine, the fella that causes the physical addiction to tobacco, is actually a pretty cool little molecule. There are a few things that it does when it gets into your brain, one is to mimic acetylcholine (which was discussed in my supplement article) and activate acetylcholine receptors. This has an increase on cognition and causes the release of catecholamines (adrenaline and such) which increase fat-burning, it also releases dopamine which is responsible for its addictive nature. Nicotine also acts as a anti-oestrogenic, inhibiting aromatase; this is potentially good news for men as most guys these days have woefully low T and high oestrogen (of course this doesn't come close to making amends if you can't get a hard on). Nicotine is also an oxidative compound in your body, this is generally not a good thing, but it appears to act in a hormetic nature and may actually be anti-inflammatory overall.

Cancer is a great way to drop those last few pounds.

Smoking is well known for its appetite suppressing or weight loss effects and was in fact promoted to women on this premise back in the days when you could say whatever you wanted in advertisements. As just mentioned, nicotine increases fat burning through a catecholamine release, it also works on beta-adrenergic receptors to up-regulate fat-burning in a similar way to ephedrine (albeit far less powerfully). It has been shown in large scale studies that light smokers have lower BMIs than non-smokers, this is believed to be due to "increasing the metabolic rate, decreasing metabolic efficiency, or decreasing caloric absorption (reduction in appetite), all of which are associated with tobacco use." However, heavy smokers tend to have a higher BMI, this is generally because heavy smokers have awful lifestyles and terrible diets to go along with their other shitty habits, so become large masses of adipose and disease. While smoking and weight loss might be correlated, in general the news is not good. There is increasing evidence of smoking leading to increased insulin resistance and accumulation of visceral fat (that is the dangerous fat between your organs) with smokers showing a greater waist-to-hip ratio than non-smokers. The fact that you become more insulin resistant is also bad news as your cells become unable to use insulin correctly, which is very bad news for anyone that wants to gain muscle and paves the way to type 2 diabetes. So, all in all, smoking sucks; you knew this, I'm just confirming that it will make you skinny-fat and limp-dicked.


Cannabis

Marijuana, weed, pot, chronic, grass, kush, dope, green, cheeba, reefer, skunk, tical, sticky icky icky, Mary Jane, bud, dank, herb... whatever you know it as, most people are familiar with the flowering buds of the cannabis sativa, indica or ruderalis plant, which are generally dried and smoked. So what does smoking eighths of grape-ape mean for your gains? Well, the appetite increasing effects of cannabis are pretty well known; get lifted, get the munchies, eat a box of cereal. Standard stoner procedure. While the anecdotal evidence for this is strong enough to be pretty much irrefutable, it has been tested in a clinical environment. In this study a bunch of people were kept in a controlled environment for 13 days, the researchers got half of them to blaze up twice daily and tracked all food intake:

"Smoked active marijuana significantly increased total daily caloric intake by 40%. Increased food intake was evident during both private and social periods. The increase in caloric intake was due to an increased consumption of snack foods as a consequence of an increase in the number of snacking occasions. There was no significant change in caloric consumption during meals. The principal increase within the category of snack foods was in the intake of sweet solid items, e.g., candy bars, compared to sweet fluid, e.g., soda, or savory solid items, e.g., potato chips. Increases in body weight during periods of active marijuana smoking were greater than predicted by caloric intake alone."

The snack food industry is a big fan of weed.

40% is a pretty hefty amount to be increasing your calories in any situation, but that last sentence deserves a second read; body weight increased by even more than would be predicted by the 40% raise in calories, likely due to a decrease in energy used for movement as the participants slothed out on the sofa watching Spongebob (I assume). From this evidence, we can likely conclude that for anyone looking to lose fat or generally look good, taking blunts to the face is not the best idea.

There is a bit of cognitive dissonance here however in that most stoners I know are skinny dudes. All scientific literature I could find talked of the appetite increasing effects of weed and subsequent weight gain in controlled trails, but if I may, I'm going to propose my own theory based on personal observations. The trials tended to be on naive users, who smoked, had an increase in appetite, ate more, then gained weight. Simple enough. However, as mentioned, a large amount of experienced users tend to have fairly low BMIs (albeit with undesirable body compositions). My belief is that these users still experience the appetite up-regulating effects (i.e. munchies) when using cannabis, and eat an increased amount of calories. However when not actively using cannabis, I believe caloric intake may be significantly lower due to another well known effect of heavy cannabis use - lack of motivation. Basically, I think heavy stoners don't eat much because they can't be bothered; they then get lifted, eat a bunch of junk, then repeat. The end result is a fairly low calorie intake (hence low bodyweight), but poor food choices and nutrient timing (hence undesirable body composition). A sweeping generalisation possibly, but I don't think it's too far off the mark in a large number of cases.

"Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man"

So, just as I was going to publish this article, a friend brought another study to my attention. I'm not going to delete my little hypothesis above, because it is potentially still a factor in why smoking kush tends to correlate with low BMI (which, despite some studies which showed no correlation, was found in other studies such as this and this). However, the aforementioned study found that cannabis users on average have a smaller waist circumference than non-users and importantly lower fasting insulin levels. This is indicative of greater insulin sensitivity which is a good thing as far as achieving a favourable body composition and not getting diabetes is concerned. You may remember that tobacco smoking caused insulin resistance, the negative opposite of what cannabis has been shown to do here; so if your smoking dutchies as opposed to US style pure joints, consider this one pretty much an even. If you are a bong user or a pure joint smoker, chalk this one up as a win.

Going back to the lack of motivation that stems from heavy recreational weed use; clearly this is not going to be a benefit for any individual wanting to gain muscle or lose fat, both of which are aims which are going to require some focussed effort on art of the subject. If you're lighting up most nights, it is highly unlikely that you are going to have the drive to wake up and put in a hard gym session and keep your nutrition on point. You'll probably just sit around pretending you like Reggae because you have a Bob Marley poster and one of those hats with the dreads.

Another factor potentially leading to poor body composition for male cannabis users is the oestrogenic effect it exerts. Again I'll take the wording directly from the study:
"our research clearly confirmed that smoking marijuana has an ER-mediated estrogenic effect on the endocrine system, and that this effect is mostly caused not by the cannabinoid compounds themselves but by the complex ingredients generated by smoking marijuana."
As I'm fairy sure the vast majority of stoners are going to be smoking up, not drinking weed tea or baking space cakes on the daily, you can pretty much consider weed oestrogenic. This is bad news for male cannabis users as high oestrogen levels will cause lower T (and therefore decrease all the good things that come from maximising testosterone levels) fatigue, loss of muscle tone, increased body fat (especially in the chest area), loss of libido and sexual function and an enlarged prostate. Well, that sucks.

The effects of cannabis on sexual function and drive are pretty interesting; during my research for this article I found a whole load of anecdotal evidence of an increase in the female sex drive when smoking green and aside from a few hilarious accounts of dudes enjoying a quick one off the hand and passing out after a smoke, far less reports of weed increasing male libido. And guess what, science agrees:

"more beneficial than debilitating effects of cannabinoids on female sexual proceptivity and receptivity while suggesting predominantly detrimental effects on male sexual motivation and erectile functioning. Data from human and non-human species converge on the ephemeral nature of THC-induced testosterone decline. However, it is clear that cannabinoid-induced inhibition of male sexual behaviour is independent of concurrent declines in testosterone levels."
So weed makes girls horny as hell and guys boring as hell...where the stoner girls at?

Science tells me this is good.

So in summation, weed may be partially responsible for a lot of great music (I listen to ridiculous amount of stoner rap) and art, but it's also responsible for increased oestrogen levels, weight gain through increased appetite and a nosedive in male sex drive and functioning. Fuck that ...oh wait.

Stimulants

Dirty raves, naughty beats, crunchy bass lines, fucking stupid expressions and MDMA. For some these are all the ingredients necessary for a good night. The amphetamine family encompasses a wide array of compounds, but the commonly used ones tend to do a similar thing once inside your body. The ones that any non-insane person would be using (that means not meth... please don't use meth) act as psychostimulants, they increase wakefulness and alertness, release dopamine and norepinephrine which leads to feelings of euphoria, decreased fatigue, elevation of mood and increased libido. They also tend to decrease appetite and increase energy expenditure through movement, so from a fat loss point of view, stimulants of the amphetamine family get a gold star. This shouldn't really come as too much of a surprise; ephedrine (usually combined with caffeine and aspirin) was the bodybuilder's drug of choice for fat loss cycles before it was made illegal. This is simply because it works, ephedrine has stronger fat loss effects than other stimulants, but the premise is the same; they act to both raise basal metabolic rate through increased thermogenesis (the production of body heat) and increases fat breakdown through beta-andrenergic receptor agonism.

They are a very happy family.

The negatives of stimulants has to do with the effects of withdrawal, which can be experienced from a single dose. The classic case is 'Blue Tuesday' which is the day of depression and lethargy after a weekend stimulant binge. Obviously it doesn't have to be a Tuesday, but following a high from stimulant use, there will always be a low due to depleted serotonin levels in the brain. For any individual looking to improve body composition, this day of feeling like a sack of shit is likely not going to be conducive to a productive training sessions or good diet practice. There are also reports (again) of erectile dysfunction stemming from amphetamine use (told you drugs were bad news for men), which must be especially frustrating when paired with increased libido; super horny with a limp dick. Fuck that... oh wait.

Pulling absolutely retarded faces is also a legitimate downside.

A bit of personal opinion for any fans of stimulants: coming from a trained chemist who has had a read through of a fair few MDMA syntheses, I see quite a few opportunities for various chemical nasties to be left in the mix by any cooks that are cutting corners (which they likely are). When you buy shit on the street, you don't know what the hell is in it, which if you value your health should probably have you thinking twice. However, ephedrine, which we mentioned earlier, is still legal in some countries and therefore can be purchased as pharmaceutical quality (generally 99.8%) tablets. I'm not condoning the use of illegal stimulants, however if you are that way inclined, I'd recommend you consider the use of pharma-quality ephedrine over street powders, future you will thank young you.


Cocaine

Nose candy is a very interesting molecule with a completely unique mechanism of action in the body; the main effect of cocaine is the binding to and blocking of the dopamine transporter protein, causing a build up of dopamine in the brain which leads to the feelings of alertness, well-being and euphoria. Cocaine is well known as a pretty severe appetite reducing agent (back in the old days when health and safety didn't exist it was marketed as such) the problem is, unlike amphetamine stimulants which up-regulate fat loss, cocaine only down-regulates appetite. This means that weight will be lost, but a large portion of this will be from muscle mass, due to insufficient protein and calorie intake and furthermore, malnutrition due to large vitamin and mineral deficiencies become a genuine problem. Thus people with cocaine habits tend to become skinny, sunken shells of humans...not a good look. Cocaine can also cause all manners of respiratory problems, not desirable for anyone who wants to be training and getting in good physical condition.

Cocaine bear knows that it's a slippery slope.

Once again, the guys get a shitty deal when it comes to cocaine abuse as erectile dysfunction once again is an issue. Like amphetamines, cocaine serves to heighten libido in many, but can also serve to make sure you never capitalise on that pleasure. So for the last time, say it with me; fuck that ...oh wait.