There are over 20,000 PTs in the UK, you may have regular sessions with one, you may be thinking about hiring one, you may even be one. Some of these PTs are fantastic; they create smart personalised programming for their clients, adjust based on objective and subjective feedback, keep things interesting (but don't introduce variety for the sake of it), provide motivation and deliver results. Some tick a few of the boxes, which may be all you need. However others to provide little more than could be gained from a Googling 'workout' and playing a tape of someone saying stock motivational phrases.
- Plato, circa 400 BCE
Before we get into it, I should probably try to rub off the target that I painted on my back by deciding to write this and make sure that I'm not totally hated by every PT I know (just a little bit hated, because I'm a generally disagreeable person). This article is not a slur on all personal trainers, there are many, many good PTs out there; nor is this a claim that I know more or can deliver a better service than said trainers, it is simply my opinion on what you should be looking for if you feel like spending your hard earned money on some professional fitness guidance.
Not a personal trainer, just an opinionated loud mouth
With that said, your personal trainer is likely a waste of money if...
1. Your sessions are an unplanned collection of exercises with no structure for progression "How about we start with the curl machine, then maybe some burpees, then uhhh, some push ups... on a bosu ball... super-setted with TRX mountain climbers, then we'll see how much time we have left and use whatever equipment is free."
"Confuse the muscles"...also confuse anyone trying to make sense of your routine
If you hear something like this from a PT, just leave. Completely improvised sessions that have no week to week structure like this are far from uncommon, and usually occur for one of two reasons. The first is caving to the need to make sessions seem as varied and interesting as possible, throwing in all the exciting bits of equipment, fun exercises and pseudo-advanced techniques to make new trainees feel like they are getting great value. While this may seem fine, lack of a structured, personalised plan makes it far harder to objectively progress in the areas which you want to. Added to the fact that paying a PT to reel off random exercises represents terrible value and provides you with none of the tools to construct your own effective training in the future. The second reason is pure laziness and lack of preparation, if a PT is unable to construct a solid training plan and know exactly what needs to be achieved in your coming session, they are likely not worth your money. However, just being given a plan doesn't mean all that much if...
2. You are given a generic programme/diet, identical to all other clients Generic/cookie-cutter/off-the-shelf programmes can be great, from 5/3/1 to Smolov to whatever the hell Olympic lifters do, to the deep, dark vaults of Bodybuilding.com, there are many very good programmes out there, written by men and women far more knowledgeable about training than you or I. Programmes such as these provide training frameworks that have proven to be successful in allowing trainees to reach the stated goals of the plan. The cost of obtaining these programmes ranges from 2 minutes of your time spent locating them on the internet to around £30/$50 for the most pricey training (e)books. As that amount of money might not get you 1 hour with some trainers, it is not unreasonable to expect a custom designed programme for your goals and personal needs, or at the very least, some tailoring of a pre-made, tried and true programme; especially as many of the off-the-shelf programmes encourage and detail a degree of customisation to the trainee's wants and needs. This means that a trainer that simply hands you a pre-written programme with no thought is literally less useful than a 12 page PDF. We may not all be completely unique snowflakes, but all trainees will all differ somewhat in their aims, abilities, preferences and attitudes; a good trainer will recognise this and adjust their methods accordingly.
A cookie cutter AND a special snowflake. Mind blown.
A training plan customised to your needs is a great start, however, a you will not achieve all you can if... 3. Your progress is not monitored
Whether you are trying to lose fat, gain muscle, increase endurance or get stronger, physical self improvement lends itself very well to objective measure as a means of tracking progress. If your trainer is not weighing you, taking body composition measurements or regular photographs, you cannot get accurate feedback on your rate of muscle gain or fat loss. If you are not performing the same exercises under the same conditions on a regular basis, you cannot accurately determine whether you are getting stronger or increasing your endurance. Every session does not need to be a test and indeed doing so would be counter productive, but monitoring progress under standardised conditions is the most accurate way to determine whether progress towards a given goal is being made. This allows good trainers to observe whether what you are currently doing is working and tweak your diet/training accordingly, optimising to reach your goals.
If your sessions look like this, you may have gone a little too far
If a PT checks the above 3 points off the list, they are likely a good trainer and you will make good progress when working with them; however the best trainers set you up to keep making good progress, long after you stop paying for their services, which won't be the case if... 4. They complicate, instead of simplifying and tell you what to do, but not why
Many trainers will complicate to profit, leading you to believe that their special methods are key to progress and for that reason, you need to keep paying them as long as you want to be making gains. In truth you can get very deep into the complex minutiae of nutrition and exercise science, but for 99% of people, this is completely unnecessary and learning basic, overarching concepts will serve you far better. A PT that teaches the principles behind training for your goals and gives you basic knowledge frameworks to construct your own training is worth far more than the trainer that gives you fancy, complex workouts, but doesn't explain the concepts behinds them.
If you can find a PT who will listen to your needs and goals, construct a training plan and/or diet to help you reach those goals, take objective feedback to track progress and modify your plan accordingly, all while educating you and giving you the tools you need to a self-dependant and motivated trainee, that is someone worth throwing a fair stack of cash at.
Alternatively, you can pay someone a couple of bills a week to pluck a few exercises out of their arse and shout at you while you sweat a bit. Rinse and repeat for weeks/months/years, until you notice that you have absolutely no gains. Realise your personal trainer was a complete waste of money and time. Cry a little.
The title is from Janelle Monáe's song Q.U.E.E.N. featuring Erykah Badu; which starts as some funky, soul-filled, R&B guilty pleasure and ends with Monáe dropping a verse that puts 99.9% of rappers to shame.
Quadruple Olympic gold medallist Allyson Felix showing that good glutes are what you need for athletics and aesthetics.
Bootys, butts, bums, glutes; call them what you will, as Miss. Monáe states, they don't lie. Having a strong and well developed posterior is desirable for both sexes for various reasons. The glutes main roles are as the prime movers in hip extension, hip abduction and in external rotation of the leg, they are mainly fast twitch with huge force production capability and high resistance to fatigue. In layman's terms this means your bum is involved if you want to turn your knee outwards, push your leg out to the side or behind you. Once you realise the function of the glute it becomes clear why they are so important for peak athletic performance; sprinting, jumping, lunging, direction changes/side-stepping, skating, it's all driven primarily the the glutes. Glutes are also important in a more passive way, giving stability to the hips, pelvis and lumbar, maintaining proper posture through leg and pelvic alignment to keep your 'lower cross' in balance and ward off the back pain and decreased performance that accompanies anterior pelvic tilt. In fact, there are multiple studies directly linking weak and/or inhibited glute function with lower back pain.
Enough science shit. Time for gratuitous booty pictures.
Boring phsiology over with, the main reason we want good glutes is because of how they look. Whether a man is a boob guy or bum guy, they appreciate a good set of glutes, but also likewise, women don't want a pancake-assed man, sporting strong glutes is just as important for any male as it is females. If you are a girl reading this thinking that you don't pay much attention to the junk in a guy's trunk, you probably should. Remember a few sentences ago when I was talking about glutes being the muscle responsible for hip extension? Well, big, powerful glutes mean big, powerful hip extension... maybe something to think about.
I would say this is for the ladies but with the amount of men with huge guy crushes on Klokov, I'm not so sure.
Unfortunately, due to most of us spending many hours of the day sitting on our bums and not doing shit, we have terrible muscle tone (in the strict usage of the term, that is, passive contraction). Our glutes are lazy, they are overly relaxed from not doing anything all day and as such, when we want to call them into action they don't contract and produce force to their full potential. Further to our glutes being sleepy through under-use, they suffer also from 'reciprocal inhibition' from our hip flexors. The angle of our hips when we sit means our hip flexors (located in the front 'hip crease') are chronically flexed and short; when a muscle contracts, the opposing muscle relaxes, thus our tight, contracted hip flexors cause our glutes to turn off. What also happens with many people is that here the piriformis muscles will 'pick up the slack' for the glutes, working overtime and as such also becoming chronically tight. Therefore, the first step for most should be the activation of the glutes, stretching of the hip flexors and potentially soft tissue work to roll out any knots and maintain good tissue quality in our prized assets.
Whoever is in charge of Reef's marketing is a true visionary.
Glute activation routine
Soft tissue work (optional) - this is easy but generally not fun. Get a firm foam roller or a lacrosse/hockey/tennis ball, put it under your bum and slowly roll over the whole glute area. There will be 'hot spots', especially around the piriformis area which usually manifests itself as some hella pain when you roll over the dimple on the outside of your cheek. Work on these until pain subsides and you feel the muscles loosen and any knots or tightness release. The enjoyability of this increases greatly if performed in a private setting with a partner.
Pictures of foam rolling are not as enjoyable as this.
Hip flexor stretches - Perform a deep lunge with your rear knee on the floor, push your hips forward until you feel a pull in the front of the hip of the rear leg, being careful not to let your lower back over-arch. Hold for 20-30 seconds a couple of times each side, this is a useful stretch to do multiple times a day if possible. 4 point extension - On all fours (hold the jokes please), extend one leg straight behind you until it is parallel to the ground or just above and squeeze the glute hard for a 3 count, repeat on the other side.
Not perfect form here, but she can do whatever she wants as far as I'm concerned.
Half-keeling contraction - get down like you are going to pop the question, then contract the glute on the kneeling side hard, thrusting your hip forward a few inches. Focus on the contraction, not the thrusting movement as you don't want the force to come from your lower back. It is helpful to put a hand in the glute to make sure you can feel the contraction and change in shape of the muscle. Glute bridge - This builds the foundation of many of the great glute building exercises, so it is important that you get a good feel for it. Lie flat on your back with your legs at somewhere around a 60-90 degree angle and your feet flat on the floor. From here push through your heels and contract your glutes hard to push your hips up so your body forms a straight line from shoulders (which are in contact with the floor) to knees. Make sure it is a hip hinge and not some messed up spine rolling motion that is getting you from the start to the end, also make sure to again not over-arch the lower back.
I'm going to be stealing loads of technique pictures/videos because I can't be bothered to make them myself. Deal with it.
Hip hinge - This again is a foundation move and is probably the most important single movement to master in all of weight training. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and knees unlocked, cross your arms on your chest or place your hands on the back of your head (you can add a weight if you are a stronger trainee). From here, bend at the hips, pushing your bum backwards whilst keeping your lower back flat. You should feel a stretch in your hamstrings and glutes, when you feel this, powerfully flex your glutes to reverse the movement, squeezing hard at the end like you are trying to crack a walnut between your cheeks. Clamshell - Lie like you were setting up for a glute bridge and got flipped on to your side. From here, keep your feet together and rotate your upper leg outwards so your knee points towards the ceiling whilst keeping the rest of your body still, stronger trainees can wrap a resistance band around their knees. It's probably best to avoid eye contact with anyone whilst doing this one.
Alternatively, maintain eye contact throughout to really woo a potential mate
A run through of 8-12 reps of each of these moves (in whatever order you like) fits well as a warm up for most, some less experienced trainees might find these feel like a workout in and of themselves, that is okay, a few rounds of these exercises plus a few of the less advanced exercises from below will make a great beginner training session.
This isn't anything to do with what I'm describing, I just like it.
Glute building moves SQUAT!!!! - No shit right? If all the borderline pornographic pages on Facebook haven't clued you in, squats build good bums. Squats are indispensable for their total leg building properties, they may not be the prime exercise for a focused glute workout, but still should absolutely be a staple in your routine. I've written all about squats previously in a 2 part article which you can find here and here. A small tweak which is useful when looking for specific glute work is to focus on pushing the glutes back in the descent and then contracting hard and bringing your hips forcefully forward over your feet, squeezing hard at lockout.
Dat lockout.
Deadlift variations - All deadlift variants will hit the posterior chain, including the glutes, hard; however some variants will cause people with weak glutes to over-compensate with the hamstrings and lower back muscles, whereas other variants are far more conducive to feeling the glutes working. The standard conventional deadlift from the floor is a lift that I feel falls into the first category for a large percentage of people, at least until the lockout portion of the lift. Therefore, whilst the full conventional deadlift should again be a staple in your routine, for glute building purposes there are variants which can benefit us more.
Multiple powerlifting world record holder Dan 'The Boss' Green showing that big glutes mean big lifts
The first of these is deadlift lockouts/rack pulls. Set the safety pins in the power rack to around or just above knee level and place a loaded bar on the pins. Set your feet to your normal width for deadlifting, bend at the hips and knees whilst keeping a flat back, grip the bar and forcefully lock out the weight by contracting your glutes hard and pushing your hips forward (just like in the 'hip hinge' warm up) while also pushing through your heels to lock out your knees, again take care not to over arch your lower back. Lower the weight (don't try to lower it too slowly as this can be sketchy) to a dead stop on the pins, reset and pull again. You will likely find that you can use large amounts of weight here and feel a pretty strong glute contraction.
Second we have Romanian deadlifts or Dimel deadlifts, these two are very similar in execution, with a Dimel deadlift essentially being Romanian deadlifts performed for high reps with a fast tempo. Either way, set up as you would for a normal deadlift with a fairly light weight, then lift the weight to the lockout position. From here keep a straight back and a soft bend in the knees, push the hips backwards until you feel a stretch (it might not be a very large range of motion), then forcefully reverse the motion by contracting the glutes. It is essentially the hip hinge from the warm up with a weight in your hands. The differences between this movement and the rack pull are here there is a lesser degree of knee bend, you lower the weight under control and do not pause between reps.
Glute bridges and hip thrusts - I really love squats and deadlifts, but I must admit, whilst bridges and thrusts make you look like the guy who forgot how to gym, they really are the king when it comes to focussing on booty building. There are many variations of these to cater to all levels. The basic movement as outlined in the warm up doesn't change. To make this even easier (which most shouldn't really need) you can start with your feet elevated on a bench, to make it harder lay your upper back on a bench. For most people these bi-lateral, unloaded bridges will still be too easy to use as anything other than a warm up. The obvious solution to this is to load up, go unilateral or a combination of both!
For weighted glute bridges, load a barbell with at least one full diameter plate, lay on the floor, roll it over your legs to your hips and set up as you would for the glute bridge. Get the barbell fitting snug in your hip crease, secure it with your hands and bridge, contracting your glutes hard and lifting the barbell with your hips, squeeze hard and briefly pause at lockout to really feel that booty working hard like you never have before.
In short: you hump the bar
Weighted hip thrusts are identical in the mechanics of the movement, however here your upper back rests on a bench (pick one that is nice and padded). This gives you an increased range of motion and a stronger contraction at lockout, generally making it a better choice of movement if you have the available equipment. It is recommended that you pad the bar for these otherwise they can be uncomfortable, especially at higher weights. I recently did 140 kg for reps with an un-padded bar, which was a bloody stupid idea. Be smart and use protection, kids.
Just bar hump your way to a better booty
As I said before, the other way to up the ante on bridges/thrusts is to go unilateral. The easiest of these would be the single leg glute bridge, it's not rocket surgery, set up like you would for a normal glute bridge, push to the top of the movement then straighten the knee of one leg so it's off the floor, lower yourself then push through the grounded foot and flex the glute hard to bring your hips up. Repeat with the other leg. Next up in terms of difficulty we have the single leg hip thrust, which by now I have faith that you can figure out yourselves. Then if we really want to push things, we can add weight to either of these variations. The great thing about the unilateral variations is that they tend to not need a lot of added weight so are much more comfortable when using a barbell compared to bilateral variations; personally I have been using sandbags for these which works nicely, but you can use whatever works for you; barbell, dumbell, EZ bar, sandbag, just grab something, throw it over you hips and hump upwards to build that bum.
The above exercises allow you to move the most weight and I feel should make up the majority of your glute training, making them pretty much a lock for your routine. There are a few other honourable mentions, that are very worthy of a place as further accessory movements if you have the equipment and energy to do more.
It's been a little while since the last gratuitous glute shot.
Walking Lunges/Bulgarian split squats - I group these together as they are mechanically fairly similar. Both can be performed with bodyweight (for beginners), holding dumbells (which is easier for balance as long as you can hold the dumbells) or with a barbell (which is necessary with larger weights). To perform walking lunges, pick up your dumbells or position the barbell across your traps and take a large step forward with one leg. Sink down until the rear knee just touches the ground (at this point ideally your front shin should be roughly vertical, learn to gauge your step so this is the case) and then drive upwards, contracting the glutes. Step forward with the rear leg moving into the lunge position with the opposite leg forward and repeat.
I couldn't find a lunge photo with sufficient nudity.
If you lack the space for walking lunges, Bulgarian split squats are an ideal alternative, I slightly prefer lunges as there is less of a balance demand, meaning you can focus more on contraction, both exercises will whip your butt into shape though. To perform the BSS set up a bench at around knee height at the back of the platform which you are using, grab your dumbells/barbell, stand with your back to the bench, then lift one leg behind you and place the top of your foot flat on the bench. Ideally for maximal glute recruitment you want to be as far from the bench as you can be without having an excessive stretch on your hip flexor in the bottom of the movement or experiencing any over arching of the lower back. Sink straight down until your rear knee lightly touches the floor (you might want to put a foam mat under your knee) then drive straight back up, contracting your glutes to lockout. Descend for subsequent reps without moving your feet. Switch legs and repeat.
Bulgarian split squat as demonstrated by some bald jacked guy with a terrible tattoo
Back extension/Glute ham raise (GHR) - These two again share similar ground in terms of mechanics, with a GHR essentially being a back extension plus a hamstring curl. Both of these exercises also need specialised bits of kit, which if your gym is lacking you are pretty much out of luck, some people try to 'hack' the movements and perform them without the specialised equipment (like performing a back extension off a bench), but these tend to not feel right and don't do the movement proper justice. That said, if your gym has a back extension rig/roman chair, you're in luck. You perform the back extension by hooking you feet under the pads/bar at the bottom and leaning forward on the support pad, the top of which should be a couple of inches below your hip crease (look at the picture below if that didn't seem to make sense). You start with your body fully straight facing the floor, from here hip hinge until you feel a stretch in the hammies and glutes then (like I keep saying) forcefully contract your glutes and push your hips forward to pull yourself back straight to lockout, once again taking care not to over arch the lower back . This exercise is also known as the hip extension which I far prefer, as the motion should be coming entirely from the hip, not the spine (although your spinal erector muscles will still be working to keep your back straight). This is essentially a super strict hip hinge at an angle which causes you to work harder against gravity. If you are strong, you can load these up by holding a dumbell/plate behind your head or across your chest, alternatively you can position a barbell in front of you and hold it with a snatch (very wide) grip, which is a great posterior chain exercise for more advanced trainees.
Gazing majestically into the distance is an important part of this exercise
Unfortunately GHR machines are far more scarce at gyms that they should be, as the movement is an absolute winner for fully building the posterior chain. If your gym does happen to have a GHR machine, you are living the dream, use it regularly and use it lots, also thank your gym owner for knowing his/her shit. A GHR rig looks a bit like a back extension rig (above), with a few differences in its design and therefore use; the pad is in a 'half moon' shape and sits lower on the quads with the knees just behind the pad, this allows you to perform a hip extension (squeeze the glutes) and then a subsequent hamstring curl as the point of contact between your legs and the pad 'rolls' over the rounded pad. The foot pads are also raised to the same level as the hip/quad pad, so you should be roughly parallel to the floor at lockout of the hip extension and roughly vertical at the end of the hamstring curl. That description might be a little lacking so here's a picture of a good looking lady doing the movement.
Good work, good looking lady.
I'm feeling extra generous here, so I will also write some basic outlines of sample workouts for a glute focussed 'leg day'. These are just ideas, so feel free to use them or completely ignore them and just pick bits you like from the article to fit into your own routine, I won't be offended.
Beginner glute workout Glute activation routine - 3 rounds (only roll/stretch once) Squats - 3 sets x 8 reps with ~70% of 1 rep max (or a weight which is challenging but lets you complete all reps with good form) Rack pulls - 3x5 ~75-80% 1RM Hip thrust/glute bridge variant - 3x8-12 (choose a variant which allows you to get a challenging 8 to 12 reps with good form, I'd recommend unloaded uni-lateral hip thrusts for most trainees with a focus on good form and feeling the contraction of the glute)
If cardio is desired, using the stepper and performing big steps can further blast the booty.
It might seem hard, but for this, it's totally worth it.
Advanced glute workout Glute activation routine - 1 round Squats - 5 work sets (work up to 5 RM with good form, decrease weight by 10% and perform another set, aiming for 6 reps with good form, decrease weight by another 10% and perform 3 more sets, aiming for 8 reps with good form) RDL/Dimel deadlift - 3x8-12
alternatively Back extension - 3x8-12
alternatively GHR - 3x6-12 ( the wider rep range is due to the difficulty of GHR; if you cannot perform 6 reps un-weighted, get stronger using other exercises first) Weighted hip thrust/glute bridge variant - 3x8-12 Walking lunges - 3 rounds of 8-12 lunges each side (space permitting)
alternatively BSS - 3x8-12 each side
Stepper can again be used if for some reason you want to do cardio.
So there you have it, DC's guide to great glutes. Hopefully moving into 2014 we'll see none of this...
I'm content to not write anything more in this article as I finally worked a line from Illmatic into a title. If you're unaware, Illmatic is probably the greatest album ever. This particular line is from track 9, Represent (that is what the track is called, I'm not ending my sentences with 'represent' and a raised fist quite yet).
Pictured: Not me.
You are now probably wondering what PHAT is; according to Urban Dictionary and 90s black people, it is both a synonym for cool and an acronym for 'Pretty Hot And Tempting'. According to myself and various jacked dudes (the most eminent of whom is Layne Norton, who is probably to thank for popularising the system), it is also a acronym for 'Power-Hypertrophy Adaptive Training'. In practice this means it is a training system with the dual aim of building maximal strength whilst developing size.
This is Google Image's idea of 'PHAT'. I approve.
Without further adieu here are 2 sample programmes:
Strength Bias PHAT programme
Day 1: Pulling Strength (Deadlift 5 sets x 3-5 reps, Hamstring movement 3 x 6-8, Row variant 3 x 6-8, Chin/Pull-up/Machine Pull-down 3 x 6-8) Day 2: Pushing Strength (Bench Press variant 5 x 3-5, Overhead Press variant 3 x 6-8, High Incline Press or Behind Neck Press 3 x 6-8, Dip or Close Grip Bench 3 x 6-8) Day 3: Squat Strength and Accessories (Back Squat 5 x 3-5, Front Squat or Leg Press 3 x 6-8, Calves 3 x 6-8, Abs 3 x 6-8, Shrugs 3 x 6-8)
Day 4: Rest
Day 5: 'Torso' hypertrophy and dynamic effort [DE] (DE Bench Press 5 x 3 (for DE work, use ~50% of 1 rep max), DE Chin or Row 5 x 3, Bench variant 3 x 12-15, Chin 3 x 12-15, Overhead Press variant 3 x 12-15, Row variant 3 x 12-15, Face Pull or Upright Row 3 x 12-15, Dip or Close Grip Bench 3 x 12-15) Day 6: Legs and Arms hypertrophy and DE (DE Squat or Deadlift 5 x 3, Squat or Leg Press 3 x 12-15, Romanian or Stiff-Leg Deadlift 3 x 12-15, Hamstring Curl 3 x 12-15, Calves 3 x 12-15, Curl variant 3 x 12-15, Tricep Extension variant 3 x 12-15) Day 7: Rest
Hypertrophy Bias PHAT Programme
Day 1: Upper Body Strength (Bench Press variant 4 x 3-5, Barbell Row variant 4 x 3-5, Overhead Press variant 3 x 6-8, Chins/Pull-ups/Machine Pull-down 3 x 6-8) Day 2: Lower Body Strength (Back Squats 5 x 3-5, Deadlifts 3 x 3-5, Front Squats 3 x 6-8, Hamstring movement 3 x 6-8)
Day 3: Rest
Day 4: Back and Shoulder Hypertrophy and DE (DE Chin or Row 5 x 3, Chin/Pull-up/Machine Pull-down 3 x 12-15, Row variant 3 x 12-15, Overhead Press variant 3x 12-15, Face Pull or Upright Row 3 x 12-15, Lateral Raise 3 x 12-15, Shrug 3 x 12-15) Day 5: Legs Hypertrophy and DE (DE Squat or Deadlift 5 x 3, Squat or Leg Press 3 x 12-15, Romanian or Stiff-Leg Deadlift 3 x 12-15, Hamstring Curl 3 x 12-15, Leg Extension 3 x 12-15, Calves 5 x 12-15) Day 6: Chest and Arms Hypertrophy and DE (DE Bench Press 5 x 3, Incline Press 3 x 12-15, Close Grip Bench Press or Dip 3 x 12-15, DB or Cable Fly (vary angles) 5 x 12-15, Barbell or EZ Bar Curl variant 3 x 12-15, Tricep Extension variant 3 x 12-15, Dumbell Curl variant 3 x 12-15) Day 7: Rest
If you are looking at this and thinking "What the bloody ef does any of this mean?" then this programme is not for you. This is not a beginner programme; you have to know your way around the gym. You don't have to be the most jacked and tanned guy there, but you should have good form on all the basic movements. Preferably you should at least a year or so of training under your belt, as this programme may well require some tweaking to personal needs, it is good to know how your body reacts to certain stimuli. For example, for me personally, I deal with high volume squatting and pulling pretty well; high volume pressing, on the other hand causes my dodgy right shoulder to hurt like hell and as such causes me to hate everyone and everything around me. Time spent training hard lets you learn ways in which you can and can't push your body and as such it would be prudent to amass some of that knowledge before taking on this programme.
I didn't know what to put here, so tits.
You will also notice that not every exercise is a set-in-stone prescription, many are broad movement guidelines. This means you will need both the knowledge of weight training movements to breakdown the exercises that may fit these guidelines and also the knowledge of self to know which of the applicable movements suits you best. For example where I have written 'Row variant' there are a lot of exercises which fit the billing - 45 degree barbell rows, Pendlay rows, Yates Rows, Cable rows, Meadows rows, Dumbell Rows - knowing which exercise works well for you (whether that is in terms of maximum weight lifted or feeling maximum contraction and pump in the target muscle, depending on day) is up to you. So feel free to play around, stick to the principles and basic structure, but don't be afraid to change things a bit to suit your preferences; maybe you don't like Close Grip Bench or Dips and would rather do JM presses? They are a great exercise so go for it. Maybe you hate front squats? Firstly you are stupid and I hate you, but you might put in Olympic style back squats or narrow stance leg press instead. Learning what does and doesn't work for you is an important and underrated factor (and one I'll probably write an article on sometime). However, there is one caveat: if you suck at something and deep down you know it is important, don't skip it on the pretence that it doesn't work for you; if you can only do 2 pull ups it's probably because you're weak and/or fat, embrace the suck, work hard and get better.
Neither fat nor weak.
Even for those that know what they are doing, there does need to be some further clarification and guidelines. On the strength days (that is Days 1-2/3) you want to have long rest periods, usually around 3 minutes, enough to make sure you can exert near maximum effort on each set, especially for the first exercise in each workout. For these days, the weight that you move for the first exercise is of primary importance, you want to be aiming to beat your numbers from the previous week in each session.
Matt Kroc didn't get this huge from lifting baby weights
On hypertrophy days (Days 2/3-6), shorter rests are required, both because shorter rests are optimal for maximal hypertrophy stimulus and because otherwise, the workouts would take a fucking age; 90 seconds or so is a good guideline. Consequently, the weight that you move is not of the utmost importance, you should be aiming for stimulation of the muscles and 'the pump'. At the very least, this will make you look really good in the gym so you can eye-fuck yourself in the mirror and hold on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, an attractive member of the opposite sex is also doing an eye-fucking on you. Converse to my usual recommendations, on these days where the focus is work volume and pump for a targeted muscle group, machines are fine. I know, I know, this goes against everything I usually preach and I need to wash my filthy mouth out; however, there is a time and place for almost everything, and this is one of the very few times or places for the use of machines, if you so wish. Supersetting exercises, preferably from opposing muscle groups might also be a good idea as it can lead to a large decrease in the time in the gym necessary to get your required lifting volume in. If you find the workouts are still taking longer than you would really like, even with honest short rest periods and supersetting, drop the dynamic effort work first and perform a pure pump style workout.
The pump: it's as satisfying as coming, at least according to Arnold.
This might also be a good place to throw in a quick description on what exactly dynamic effort work is to those that think 'the Westside Method' is one of Tupac's early albums. Dynamic effort work, as popularised by Louis Simmons et al. at Westside Barbell Club, refers to lifting significantly sub-maximal weights with as much speed and acceleration as is possible. Many, many articles have been written on the whys and hows of DE training, but to summarise and greatly simplify: the point of throwing around weights that are much lighter than you could lift is to increase your rate of maximal force production, that is, your power output. Adding in dynamic effort work will lead to increased power which will in turn allow you to lift greater weights in the long run.
He may be fat these days, but you will never be 'two tomahawks on your chest' cool.
Finally, know that this programme is not for the lazy and half arsed, the stressed out and short on time or the tiny-eating, "I just want to tone up" girly men. If you want to get the most from this programme you need to commit, hit it hard in the gym, rest and recover well when out of the gym and make sure you are getting sufficient amounts of quality calories. If you fulfil these criteria then this programme is the unabashed balls for packing size on your frame and getting you stronger than a black guy on PCP.
Yeah, I'm back to hip-hop references; this one is from Villuminati on the new J. Cole album, which is worth a listen.
So we're going to talk about how to get big for all the little guys out there. As with all my articles, my suggestions are not the only way to do things, there are various methods which will bring about success; these are simply my opinions formed from research and personal experience. Disagree if you like, but I'm writing this shit for free, so do so quietly. This article will be split into 2 parts, diet and training, both of which need to be addressed if a trainee hopes to gain any meaningful amounts of quality mass.
I got more jacked. I doubt I can ever get tanned.
Diet
You have to eat big to get big, when I first started out I had a pretty weak appetite, but the main thing when you are a skinny guy looking to gain weight is just getting the calories in. "I already eat loads, I just don't gain weight" the skinnies moan. Well, you don't. If you have been trying unsuccessfully to gain weight for a while and haven't budged the scale a gram, you aren't eating enough. Read that again if it didn't sink in the first time. You are not an exception to the rules, your body is not some black hole into which calories disappear. If you are a guy with very little mass (muscle or fat), I would recommend eating (your weight in kg x 40) calories a day. Seem like a lot? Well that is your minimum. If you are training that day you will need to eat more, but BW x 40 is a good place to start.
"I've eaten, like, 6 meals today; but I just never gain weight"
To be perfectly honest, where these calories come from is secondary, whilst I don't recommend 'crap loading' i.e. eating tons of junk food to hit your calorie totals, I think you should look to eat the most calorie dense foods you can. This is so the total volume of what you are eating is not massive, but you are getting in the calories you need for growth. Milk is the cliche one recommended to skinny guys, but it's for good reason, it's full of protein and carbs and is pretty cheap and tasty, so get the milk down you (unless your lactose intolerant, which could lead to things getting messy). Yogurt can also be a very easy food to eat large amounts of and provides a good balanced amount of protein and carbs as well as probiotics; these will aid digestion, which will be a helpful thing when dramatically upping your calorie intake. Rice is the boy for carbs, it digests easily for almost everyone, so you won't get the bloat. Rice is also easy to eat; it's much easier to eat 500 calories of rice than 500 calories of potatoes. Oats are also a good quality carb source which are fairly easy to eat large amounts of, add in some dried fruit as another dense carb source for maximum gains. Beans are an overlooked carb source and one which also packs a decent amount of protein. However, they might not sit well with everyone's digestion, if you handle them well, they are a good addition to a bulking diet; if not, eat them anyway, because flatulence is hilarious.
Serge Nubret ate rice and beans on the daily. Who are you to argue with these mass-thetics?
When it comes to protein, don't shy away from less lean protein sources like chicken thighs/legs/wings and beef mince; there is nothing wrong with animal fats, they add calories in a delicious way and are necessary for the synthesis of hormones (most importantly testosterone) in your body. Beefs gets you huge, chicken gets you jacked. It's science. Ditto for eggs; protein, fats and tastiness, all in a little package; eggs get you yoked (sorry). Another benefit of fattier cuts of meat and eggs is that they tend to be significantly cheaper than leans meats like chicken breast, making a bulking diet easier on the wallet than might be expected.
It doesn't matter which part you choose. Dead cow = gains.
As mentioned, fats are integral for proper hormone synthesis and when bulking they are an easy way to get calories in. Oily fish is top stuff, it might be an acquired taste for some, but I really urge everyone to try it. Omega 3 fats have a slew of positive benefits in the body which I have covered previously in my supplement article. Nuts and nut butters are another great way to some good quality calories down, providing a modest dose of protein and a hefty dose of fats to support production of the big T; also they are delicious, if someone doesn't like peanut butter I genuinely question their sanity. I'm not a huge fan of adding oils to meals to boost their fat/calorie content, like many suggest. I think whole foods which are high in fats and calories such as the aforementioned fatty meats, fish, eggs, nuts as well as things like avocados, coconut milk, full fat dairy and dark chocolate are better choices both in terms of micronutrients provided and enjoyability, which is an important factor to consider for those that have struggled to gain weight through lack of appetite.
It's a mutual love.
The last sentence of the last paragraph eludes to possibly the most important point in gaining weight for the skinny guy. Find calorific foods you enjoy eating and can eat large amounts of. Then eat them. Lots. Then eat some more. Figuring out a way to eat sufficient calories that doesn't feel like a complete chore is probably the most important aspect of a sustainable weight gaining plan; unfortunately, only you can do that as we all have different tastes. As I stated above, I believe the majority of your calories should be coming from whole foods, this ensures you get adequate micronutrients (vitamins and minerals) and is a smart idea for general health. This doesn't mean fun foods are off the table however. For example, a meal consisting of a huge bowl of beef chilli with a big serving of rice and some carrots and broccoli (for fibre and vitamins), followed by a bowl of ice cream, is perfectly acceptable for a skinny guy looking to bulk up. Follow an 80/20 rule, with (minimum) 80% of your calories coming from whole foods and (maximum) 20% from treats and junk, and you can't go too far wrong.
Snickers pie. If you're bulking, go for it. If you're a fatty, look away now, lest you start licking the screen.
Supplements always come up when talking to guys looking to gain weight; I'm sorry to tell you guys, there is no magic brand of protein which will get you huge and ripped. For my supplement recommendations, go here. The short of it is that buying a good whey powder such as one from BulkPowders (use the code DC40501 for £5 off orders over £15) for consumption post-workout is smart; some creatine will also be beneficial and is cheap, but is far from a necessity. As explained in my first supplement article, I'm not a fan of weight gainers. In general, they are massively overpriced combinations of some protein and metric fuck-tonne of sugars (maltodextrin and dextrose are just sugars fyi), sometimes with a little bit of fats thrown in for good measure. Want a weight gain shake? Ask and ye shall receive:
That is going to pack around 900 calories/40g protein without whey, over 1000 calories/65g protein with whey. Any optional extras will only serve to boost the calories and possibly protein, depending on choice. It also has the benefit of being cheap and actually containing some micronutrients, unlike the majority of powdered weight gainers off the shelf. Drink one of them a day for a few months in addition to a few large meals a day and see if you're still a waif of a man.
Contrary to popular belief, buying a weight gainer does not automatically make you a beefcake.
As far as meal timing and frequency goes, when you are a man in need of some meat on his bones, timing is when you want and frequency is as often as you can. Most skinny guys with low appetites will have problems putting away a huge meal all at once, so eating often is probably a good plan. I know I espoused all the benefits of intermittent fasting in my last article, however for the trainee that struggles with lack of appetite, it will likely be too much of an effort to eat the required calories in the eating window. As a tip, when bulking, it really pays to be prepared. Stock up and stock up well. Have a fridge (and freezer) full of beef and chicken, have a few kilos of rice and some big bags of nuts in the cupboard, always have at least 2 litres of milk in the fridge, you get the idea. Also cook in large batches in advance, especially your protein sources as these can take a little while. These strategies will make missing a meal a thing of the past, if you always have something cooked, you will have no excuse for not getting your daily calories in.
Training
Getting big requires some testicular fortitude. Prepare to move heavy shit.
Obviously, you can't gain any appreciable amount of muscle without some heavy weight training to go with your newly increased caloric intake. For guys that are predisposed to looking like they have just been freed from Auschwitz, heavy volume routines are not a good idea. These guys need to lift as big as they can every time they are in the gym, but allow sufficient time in between sessions for recovery or they will not grow. Full body routines are also the way to go for naturally skinny guys, having a day devoted to your biceps isn't going to do shit if you will buckle over with 60kg on your shoulders. We will look to build strength and mass concurrently, but understand that when you are beginning as a natural trainee, muscle mass follows strength. On to the basic outline of the programme then:
You'll lift 3 times a week, I've listed them as Day 1, 3 and 5. This can be shifted to whatever days fit your schedule, however the days should be spaced as prescribed.
2 x 6 means 2 sets of 6 reps each; 1 x 6+ means a set of at least 6, but you should aim for as many reps as you can with good form; AMRAP means as many reps as possible.
Warm up well by lifting progressively heavier weights before your work sets (only work sets are listed here). e.g. if you can squat 60kg for 6 reps, you would warm up with some body weight squats, then say 20 for 8, 40 for 4, 50 for 2; or something like that. You should feel ready with no muscle stiffness, but you shouldn't fatigue your muscles.
Rest 2-3 minutes between work sets.
You will need to initially work out what weights are challenging for the prescribed reps on each exercise. Once you have done so, you will aim to add the smallest weight plate your gym has (usually a 1.25kg) to each side of the bar every workout. Alternatively, you can start with an empty bar and use larger jumps in weight for a short period of time.
The 6+ sets should not be taken to absolute failure; you should stop when you do not believe you can perform the next rep with safe form. That said give these sets everything you have got, don’t quit a set thinking you could have done more. Get psyched
for your set, listen to music that pumps you, get angry if you have to;
the worst thing you can do is not try your hardest.
If you can lift the new weight for 3 sets of 6, move up next session. If in your final set (i.e. 6+), you get 9 or more good reps, you can move up by a larger increment, if you so wish.
If you fail to get 3 sets of 6 reps, do not move the weight up.
If you fail to get 3 sets of 6 reps consecutively on the same weight, take 10-20% off the bar and start the process over (this may seem like you're moving back, but you aren't because the 6+ set will allow you to push yourself and set new records, a sure sign that you are making progress).
Keep a notebook and write the details of your workouts, you should have a record what weights you lifted and for how many reps/sets for any given workout. Keep records to break records.
Have a spotter or use a correctly set safety rack for all sets.
Look up good exercise form (this and this are handy resources).
...but not for you, bony boy. Learn good form and gym etiquette.
Deadlift 2x6, 1x6+
Dips 2x10 (add weight if necessary; use an assisted dip machine or substitute close grip bench presses if you can’t do10 BW dips)
Standing Barbell Curls 2x10
Hanging leg raise (strict) 2xAMRAP
Day 5
Squat 2x6, 1x6+
Overhead Press 2x6, 1x6+
Pull-ups (any grip) 2x6, 1x6+ (add weight if necessary; use lat-pull downs if you can’t do at least 6 BW pull-ups)
Note: Fuck cardio. You are skinny, cardio is counter productive. If you are an athlete in a sport with high aerobic demands, adjust your calorie intake up accordingly
They might run a good tri, but these physiques aren't making any women weak at the knees.
This is a basic outline that covers all bases; you are squatting, deadlifting, pushing and pulling. These are the things that build muscle, skinny beginners have little use for endless sets of isolation exercises focused on little muscles, that can come when you are more advanced (I'm talking multiple years), if you wish. You may notice some slightly more isolation work on Day 3, there are a couple of reasons for this. Firstly, deadlifting is hard work; as a newbie, it may take it out of you, so the arm work gives you something you'll be able to get yourself enthused to do after the brutality of heavy deads. Secondly, one of the main things bemoaned about very basic training routines is the lack of enthusiasm after a while due to not having 'fun' exercises. While this is stupid, it is a complaint made by many, so Day 3 is your day where you can get a bit of pump and work the beach muscles, which should satisfy most. Thirdly, while these exercises may be veering into 'isolation' territory, they are all very valuable exercises which, whilst maybe not as beneficial as squats, deads and big presses and pulls, will go a ways towards building strength as well as muscle.
As a final note, I actually lied when I said there are 2 areas that need to be addressed;
there are 3, but the 3rd one, rest and recovery, is easy. Sleep 8 hours a
night, eat as suggested above and train no more than prescribed and
your rest and recovery should be ample.
Unless you have better things to be doing in bed.
There you have it, my advice to skinny dudes looking to get jacked. You may find the specifics of what I have described are exactly what you have been looking for and go on to make great gains. You may also not get on very well with what I have written and make good progress using an altered plan. This is fine; ends is ends but the means are just the means. Some central principles remain however: Eat big. Train hard. Rest lots. If you follow those, you can't go too far wrong.
